Earth's been attacked and Fry's still lying around
The aliens have begun to go to town
It's time to find someone who can bring them down

So the president turns to a man who can
Who can bring those aliens to their end
The biggest blowhard that there's ever been, and you cringe

But Captain Zapp will make you die tonight
His missions are like suicide
Captain Zapp will make you fry tonight
You'll be makin' beds until your cryin'
Oh yeah, yeah

He's so pathetic, cant get a date
Kif listens to him say he wants to mate
He hope's that Leela calls him,
That would be great for him

So he stands on the bridge in his cheap velour clothes
And he thinks he looks slick but what does he know
And Kif wishes that he would go far away

But Captain Zapp will make you die tonight
His missions are like suicide
Captain Zapp will make you fry tonight
You'll be makin' beds until your cryin'
Oh yeah, yeah

He flies around on the Nimbus
He has Kif set a course for Earth or bust
And he'll make those killbots rust at his feet
He brags to his men about his one conquest
He claims that she'll come back like all the rest
That's because that he claims he's the best lover

But Captain Zapp will make you die tonight
His missions are like suicide
Captain Zapp will make you fry tonight
You'll be makin' beds until your cryin'
La da, da
Oh yeah, yeah

So he fights a war and kicks some ass
And he says his love is hard and fast
Oh, but still he's waiting for a chick to have a blast,
In bed with

And he will send wave and wave of his men
Into the death cannons to meet their end
Well, with twenty five stars and still he's yet to bend
his own law

But Captain Zapp will make you die tonight
His missions are like suicide
Captain Zapp will make you fry tonight
You'll be makin' beds until your cryin'
Yeah, Captain Zapp will make you die tonight
Yeah, Captain Zapp will make you die tonight