-> "Taming Of The Yard"
Original Song Title:
"Changing Of The Guards"
Parody Song Title:
"Taming Of The Yard"
Parody Written by:
Teddy Porterhouse
The Lyrics
Thick green spears (thick green spears)
Slick green planters provided
Clover revealed (clover revealed) where the woodpecker feeds
Separate glens (separate glens), separate trimmin' decided
Dreading the spring (dreading the spring), need to maul these weeds
Torture calls (torture calls)
I step...up for battle...
To the yard's disgrace (yard's disgrace), searchin' through leaves, hunting for flowers
My back field's gone brown (back field's gone brown). Peat's smelling bleak like some cattle
Barely forewarned (barely forewarned) amid thunder's shriek, feelin' the showers
Some mole grubs assumed (mole grubs assumed)
The paths in place above the excavations
Bending some troughs (bending some troughs) through a heap-studded glade
Whose remedy rate (remedy rate) is beyond consideration
The damage astounds but still I'm feeling that these grubs should be waylaid
I shape my hedge (shape my hedge)
Weeds and thorns between junipers in the hollow
The leveler, it hides (leveler, it hides) in the vast windin' swale
Some beavers on a tear (beavers on a tear), and they couldn't help but wallow
Wallow and frown at the mountain where they'd shifted the trails
I struggle with defeat (struggle with defeat)
I mow past obstructions with confliction
As the vicious bills pending wreak a heartbreak I rue
Lemonade treats (lemonade treats) with generous nutrition
Are standing out for hours as I give in to booze
The malice of sneerers (malice of sneerers)
Whose lawn mowers are neglected
The friendless oafs (friendless oafs) with their flailing of whines
The wretched stoops (wretched stoops) where their misery is projected
Where the baneful noises whimpered suit the souls of tedious minds
She shakes me up (shakes me up)
Forty-eight showers later, my buns are straining
Fear chokin' pains (chokin' pains), mountin' quarrels and joltin' shocks
She threatens to hold (threatens to hold) what pleasures I still have remaining
She's gulping her stout, and she's gushing on with her strong scoldin' mocks
Gentle one, I said (gentle one, I said)
I don't need your mortification
I've climbed your roof (climbed your roof). I've lubed your fountain and charged your car
But needlin's disturbing (needlin's disturbing). Either get rid of your emasculation
Or else my heart might lack endurance for the taming of the yard
Weeds succumb (weeds succumb)
With stability dismembered
On the fields admired (fields admired). And the greenness so restored
When these faults die and fall (faults die and fall). The cool depth of splendor
And the hale growths increasing redeem the spring and its cleanup chores
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 13 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 13 | |
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