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Song Parodies -> "I Choked The Sheriff"

Original Song Title:

"I Shot The Sheriff"

Original Performer:

Bob Marley / Eric Clapton

Parody Song Title:

"I Choked The Sheriff"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

I choked the Sheriff
Yes I choked Sheriff Johnson Shorty

I choked the Sheriff
Yes I choked that one-eyed deputy

All around in my home town
They're trying to track me down.
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the choking of Sheriff Shorty
For chokin' ol' Sheriff Shorty
An' I say

I choked the Sheriff
I admit the odds were five 'gainst one

I choked the Sheriff
Now I wait for his Pos-se to come

Sheriff Johnson always hated how
I'd play flute solo
Every time that I milk my cow
He said, "Call down for more mayo"
He said, "Call down for more mayo"
An' I say

I choked the Sheriff
During our game of backstroke roulette

I choked the Sheriff
Now my batting practice towel's wet

Trousers were too tight one day
So I took a look downtown
I see Sheriff Johnson smilin' up at me
Refusing to back down
So I choked, I choked him down
An' I say

I choked the Sheriff
It was just like sloppy joe's last stand

I choked the Sheriff
Brought him down in combat hand-to-gland

Reflexes got the better of me
And what is to be must be
Every day the Dragon begins to swell
But each day the Dragon is drained out
Yes, each day the Dragon is drained out
An' I say

I drained the Dragon
With the help of Knight Sir Loinbeefsteak

I drained the Dragon
With Masonic Secret Self Handshake

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

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Royce Miller - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny--I say again, you're a mess!
Royce Miller - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I always wondered what that secret handshake was all about...
Rick D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! My wife plays flute solo every day, and it don't sound like she's chokin' anything. Look what Malcolm is missing being on strike.
Johnny D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Royce!

Thanks, Rick - you lucky guy, you!
Green Bloodied Hound Dogs - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I Bet You Saw My "I Stole His Girlfriend Parody".
Adagio - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Goodness, Johnny....NOW it takes on a whole new meaning. Buckin' for your own category, eh? I like this verse... Trousers were too tight one day
So I took a look downtown
I see Sheriff Johnson smilin' up at me
Refusing to back down
So I choked, I choked him down
An' I say and of course, many others...:D
Guy - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, that boy is whacked alright and that's just the way I like these parodies. Well done JD.
Johnny D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Green Bloodied Hound Dogs, Adagio, and Guy !
Meriadoc - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
OMG! This one went right by me until I was reading 'latest comments'. Johnny you are truly the King of the Smutty Double Entendre!
Johnny D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Meriadoc!
Peregrin - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
What can I say that Merry already hasn't, Mr Palmer?
Johnny D - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
That you gotta hand it to me? Wait a minute, that's my job!

Thanks Peregrin!
Paul Robinson - January 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Another JD supremo here. As always, you HANDLED it MASTERFULLY. Is that Subtle (pronounced SUB-TULL in this case) enough for everybody? If not, well, then I could say that somehow the cream always rises to the top. I guess everybody should have caught the gist of it by now, and that's a load off my mind. Any more might be hard to swallow. OH...reminds me of one of the first dirty cartoons I ever saw...My older brother's Playboy magazine (I was just reading the articles with that flashlight under my blankets); Nude guy siting in a chair with a hand puppet on. He's got the hand puppet saying, "Awww...do I have the wrestle the giant snake again tonight?". I recall being able to figure that out but I don't think it was right away. I think I was too anxious to get back to the...uh.....uhh...uh....ARTICLES....RIGHT!!!...the ARTICLES that I was so very engrossed in. Well, happy reading folks and good night.
Paul Robinson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Gosh, I just read my remarks from a few minutes ago. I just don't know what could have come over me. I think I have to somehow get ahold of myself before I just fly off the handle and lose it all. Well...I guess that's enough, NOW...Actually, I'm back on because I meant to submit the new one I just finished (Inspired by the rural nature of things up here) so it would get on tomorrow's New entries. I haven't been on this year yet and it's probably about time to get with the program again. In all humble honesty it's so good I won't even specifically pander to it by name. You'll just have to find it tomorrow if you want to enjoy it. (Boy, the time off didn't damage this guy's ego, did it?)
Johnny D - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Paul !
Jack Wilson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Great job, Johnny!!!!!!!!
2nz - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
And another sheriff gets wacked by the notorious five knuckles. What else can I say?
Meriadoc - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
I forgot to add yesterday:

Better get ready, rock steady
When Johnny cranks up his hand... ;-)
Johnny D - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Jack: Thanks!

2nz: Thank you, too - and as for the sheriff - well, let's just say he had it coming ...

Meriadoc: Oh you WACKY ! Don't ever change!
Mari D - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
You're making it HARD not to give you high scores. Very clever SHERIFF parody--glad you weren't too CHICKEN to post it!
Johnny D - January 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mari D - good comeback.
Wanda G. Maynard, KY - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Overall this sheriff parody was great!!
Johnny D - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Wanda!
Charlie Decker - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
"I choked the Sheriff I admit the odds were five 'gainst one" That line trumps anything from my "Beat It" parody. Very nice.
Johnny D - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Charlie!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
You jerk. Is that a handshake milkshake? I truly applaud you on this one, bringing new meaning to the sound of one hand clapping. Loved the 'posse' remark, 'hand to gland' and every other purile pun you popped in here. If there was an ism nearby, you would be on an ism. (that's the best I can do. I'll leave it to Decker to com'beat' with this masterpiece)
Johnny D - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jake A Ralphing - great pen name, by the way!
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks. I'll find some way of posting Hairy Potted and the Philanderer's Stein/ Changer of Sequins/ Prismer of Afghaniztan on a site somewhere for the public to saturate their minds with disgusting feats of parrot ordure and cheese obsession. The names of the characters had to be changed because a quarter of them coincided with Michael Gerber's Barry Trotter when that came out. (Bumblemore, Tralala, flying mops and more) Your pen name is also... um... good....
Adagio - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Already voted and commented...still outrageous! :D
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks again, Adagio and JARLB !
Melhi - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
abc -- Hilarious!
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Melhi!
Meriadoc - June 26, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Even funnier the second time around!
Johnny D - June 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you very, much there Merry!
Michael Pacholek - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I saw the word "choke," and immediately thought, "Red Sox." But the monster in question wasn't green -- yet. Then I thought it was Boss Hogg singing about going after Roscoe on "The Dukes of Hazzard." Then I realized Daisy must have stepped into the picture. I've heard of a five-finger discount, but this is ridiculous. I've really got to hand it to you... as you hand it to yourself.
Johnny D - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Michael, I'm just trying to get a grip, you know.
martha - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny you're at it again! but you are so inventive with it!
Johnny D - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, I'm at it again, martha - congratulations, you're gettin' ta' know me! Thanks!
MysteryGoat - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Dude that's just wrong. :-)
Johnny D - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
But oh, so right! ;-D
Spaff.com - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I was going to suggest getting RAD & MAD to play on your recording of this, but I suppose you'd rather just play with yourself.
Johnny D - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mighty Spaff ... I think I can handle it myself.

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