Song Parodies -> "Land Mine"

Original Song Title:

"Long Time"

Original Performer:

"Land Mine"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

In some stories, stepping on a land mine results in instant boom. In others, the mine won't go boom until you take your foot off the mine. This guy runs across the latter kind of mine, and these are his thoughts...

I stepped on a land mine
I guess I really blew it, yeah
Guess I should've looked closer, 'fore I stepped on it
Trod on, on a landmine, whoopsie, yeah!
Soon I will be blown to smithereens
If I take my foot off, see
Wish there was someone to help me

Well, I'm stuck on this mine, I cannot move on
Wish I had a nice seat, can't stand up this long
Can't lie down, won't be fine, more mines here, for sure
So I'm stuck here, my feet are sore

I said, yeah
I stepped on a land mine
Stuck here on this land mine

Well, it seems that I am in deep and utter poo
Trod on this mine, I wouldn't mind
If I had lacked a map, dude
Had one, was told it was completed
They had missed one mine and so it seems that I am buggered
My plans for life are scuppered

Cause I stepped on this mine and still on my own
No-one here to help me, so it seems I'm boned
Called for help sev'ral times, I'm getting quite bored
Stuck on this mine left from some war

Yeah, yeah ,yeah-hey
I'm trapped on this land mine
Can't move from this land mine

I stood on this land mine
Soon I will go kaflooie, yeah
No-one's come to rescue me, ain't that their duty?
I still have hope, though I don't have much time left, yeah
Can't move, I'll be blown to smithereens, and I am not fine with it
I can only swear at it

Cause I stepped on this mine, it won't be too long
Yes, in due time, ohh, my foot will slip off
Off of this mine (ooh-ooh)
Step off this mine (ooh-ooh)
Off this land mine (ooh-ooh)
Off this damn mine (ooh-ooh)
I won't survive (ooh-ooh)
I'll just fly high (ooh-ooh)
Bits in the sky (ooh-ooh)
Curse this damn mine (ooh-ooh)

Standard procedure for stepping on a land mine: leap 500 feet into the air, then scatter youself over a wide area. So sayeth Captain Blackadder

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glen s - November 12, 2012 - Report this comment

Funny stuff tcop. I can appreciate this. Rough crowd today.

Matthias - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment

And Boom Goes The Dynamite! I wish this parody was one of MINE but I guess since it's yours I'll have to give you some 5's

Agrimorfee - December 11, 2012 - Report this comment

Yeah Glen, tough crowd here too. I liked it a little bit, but it is kinda leaning on the tasteless side.

Rex - December 11, 2012 - Report this comment

"Land mine!" "What?" "I said LAND MINE!" "The land is mine? Excellent! I'll just walk around and check it ou-" Novel idea, I would have liked to hear how the guy stood there through bad weather, insects, birds overhead dropping poo, etc., until he can't stand there any longer and steps off -- only to discover it's a dud.

Below Average Dave - December 13, 2012 - Report this comment

Well. . .certainly interesting, though Rex really nailed some additions that would have put this over the top.

Blaydeman - December 13, 2012 - Report this comment

(Artistry) I agree. I LOVED the idea and the first two lines had me rolling, but the rest was missing something. I think Rex had some really cool ideas that would've made it super hysterical.

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