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Song Parodies -> "Ripped"
Original Song Title:
"If"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bread
Parody Song Title:
"Ripped"
Parody Written by:
Red Ant
The Lyrics
DKTOS? Listen to it here. Listed by AOL as the 9th wussiest song of all time ('Bread makes The Eagles look like Slayer'), I couldn't help but make fun of it. I actually like this song...
~intro~
If my sphincter launched a thousand turds
Then why can't I... launch you?
This turd just will not go
It's on thera-dio
If my eyes could cry a thousand tears
I'd shed them for this tune
If jelly were a glue
I'd stick the Bread to you!
And THEN.... my VOICE... is high up in this line
I sing... this one... two words... a time
If a man could be too wussy with his rhymes-
-I'd out-wuss you
I'd leave them all the same
To show you have no game!
If this song would stop careening,
crashing, crawling through my mind
I'd gladly call a truce
Don't drop another deuce
Or piece... by piece... I'll rip your Bread apart
And feed...
it to...
the pigeons...
ev...
ry...
day..............
If my sphincter launched a thousand turds
Then why can't I... launch you?
This turd just will not go
It's on thera-dio
If my eyes could cry a thousand tears
I'd shed them for this tune
If jelly were a glue
I'd stick the Bread to you!
And THEN.... my VOICE... is high up in this line
I sing... this one... two words... a time
If a man could be too wussy with his rhymes-
-I'd out-wuss you
I'd leave them all the same
To show you have no game!
If this song would stop careening,
crashing, crawling through my mind
I'd gladly call a truce
Don't drop another deuce
Or piece... by piece... I'll rip your Bread apart
And feed...
it to...
the pigeons...
ev...
ry...
day..............
copyright 2008+ Jack "Bread Rant" Fletcher
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 18 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
At first I was worried that this one was going to be another sh*tty sh*t parody, but I have nothing against song satire, especially when the song is as bad as "If" and I think you're the first to parody this tune, so congrats on that account.
this band and this song in particular deserve this treatment...lol
Sappy songs inspire odes to flatulence -5's.
Baby I ah wancha, Baby I need yah. You're the shining light . . . I loved BREAD in their day; they were good.
Good song bashing..
Enjoyed, although have to say I'm with Lil Cup Cakes on the Bread issue!
I liked the pigeon finale.
Sorry Matt - But I did "Gif" on 12/03/03. I think the Ant did a better job than me though. Sorry Ant - didn't mean to speak at you in 3rd person. This is quite good. Really enjoyed the clever word play and thought behind it.
Very Good! This will please Jonathan S.!
Oh, I hate this OS, I HATE THIS OS. . .I mean, like I want to bang my head against the wall just hearing the opening line. . .it makes The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald seem like a masterpiece, and Desolation Row becomes tolerable. . .I'll listen to the Macarena on repeat for 24 hours over this. . .so thanks for trashing it. . .I know you are going to record this, please don't be upset if I don't want to hear it right away though. . .ouch that OS.. .555
Thanks Matt, Alvin, 2Eagle, LittleCupCakes, AFW, John J, Peregrin, Guy, Jason and Dave.
"Cu-rap of the 70s!!!" Thanks for the Bread crumbs. :)
(ABC) well dealt...
(ABC05QR)
Jack - I commented and voted a while back but I re-read this and I am amazed on just how great a job yuo did on this. This is Weird Al class parody. I somehow missed the "Bread" inserted in the parody the first time I read it. Very clever!
Dropped out a big deuce
Another floater in the tank... =;-)
Whoops, wrong OS.
Jack - I commented and voted a while back but I re-read this and I am amazed on just how great a job yuo did on this. This is Weird Al class parody. I somehow missed the "Bread" inserted in the parody the first time I read it. Very clever!
Dropped out a big deuce
Another floater in the tank... =;-)
Whoops, wrong OS.
Intolerable OSes? Awesome job here! 555
Worst song ever created... I do like Bread's "Baby I'm-A Want You" but this song was just AWFUL!
Why must you torture me. . .dang this OS is even worse now than it was the first time I heard it. . .
(ABC5) Has there ever been a parody by Red Ant that rips on the song it's parodying that ISN'T totally awesome? Didn't think so. 555!
ABC5(QR) Very humorous take on the OS and the group singing it!...Nice pacing, rhyming and subs!!...555!!!
(ABC) brilliant pacing Jack, and quite funny, and your trademark turning the song on itself - 555
(ABC) Alternately outrageous, nonsensical, self-reflexive (or just reflexive? Self-reflexive might be redundant), and most of all, HILARIOUS! I laughed almost all throughout! 5-5-5, and it should be 5-6-5!
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