Such a feeling's coming out of me,
and the bathroom is the only thing I need,
Got a cramp in my side,
and my pants around my thighs, and I will not be surprised if I scream
Everything I want this dump to be,
is now running thru my sphincter so quickly,
and the plunger is near,
just in case the bowl won't clear,
'cause a nasty bathroom fixture is obscene

(Chorus)
I'm on the top of the toilet,
looking at my creation,
and the only explaination I can find
is it's big, and it's brown,
and it's floating all around,
and I had to flush three times to get it down.

Something in the bowl has caused me pain,
and it's telling me I gotta eat more grain,
the exhaust fan will wheeze,
'cause the smell will not please,
and the Lysol can's completely out of reach,
there is only this thought on my mind,
is I gotta find the out-of-order sign,
the attendant will be
so hacked off so completely,
'cause the bathroom is destroyed so quickly....

(repeat chorus twice)