Greeting cards have not been sent
There's still so much to do
And I don't think I'll get a break
Before the year is through

Merry Christmas, humbug!
Standing in this queue
The checkout line's at number nine
I'm number ninety-two

People look so joyful
They haven't got a clue
They'll rue the day they have to pay
When the bills come due

The lights on my tree
Were strung up by me
It took me most the day
Put 'em up then
Take 'em down again
And put 'em all away

So I say humbug to Christmas
And to New Year too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish it all were through

Crowds at the malls
Fighting over dolls
They should be locked away

So I say humbug to Christmas
And to New Year too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish I was a Jew
I wish I was a Jew