Jelly went out to tailgate he was looking for a beer to pound
He'd brought some Stroh's, but the police said no, made him pour it out on the ground.
Then he came across this young man chugging a beer in the back of the lot
So Jelly walked up, said "Listen up, chump, you're drinking in my spot!"

"I guess you didn't know it, but I like to chug beer too
And if you're man enough to lose that skirt, I'll make a bet with you
Now you drink pretty fast, boy, but give the Jelly his due
I'll bet a Sally Jesse cheer against your beer
Cause I think I'm faster than you!"

The boy said, "My name's Kenny, and it might be a sin...
I'll take that bet, you've lost a step since you got that new girlfriend!"

Kenny grab your Beast Light and you better swallow hard
Cause beer flows fast in Lot two when the Jelly tends the bar
And if you win the Jelly shouts a Sally Jesse cheer
But if you lose, the Jelly drinks your beer!

The Jelly opened up his beer and said, "Now watch the pro!"
And he pushed the tab restrictor back so it wouldn't block the flow
Then he brought the beer up to his lips and poured it down his throat
He had a plan, he crushed that can as he sucked out all the foam!



When the Jelly finished, Kenny said, "You're pretty good old man!
But you better stand clear, I'll grab my beer, you'll learn how to kill the can!"

Open up your throat! Chug Boy Chug!
Jelly crushed the can when the foam was gone!
Sponge has got the watch, he reads the time!
Ed is gonna buy expensive fries!

The Jelly bowed his head cause he knew that he'd been beat
And he dropped his empty beer can on the ground at Kenny's feet
Kenny said, "Jelly you just come on back if you want another can
I done beat you once, and when Duke comes in I'll beat your can again!"

Open up your throat! Chug Boy Chug!
Jelly crushed the can when the foam was gone!
Sponge has got the watch, he reads the time!
Ed is gonna buy expensive fries!