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Song Parodies -> "One Fem Soldier"
Original Song Title:
"One Tin Soldier"
Original Performer:
Coven
Parody Song Title:
"One Fem Soldier"
Parody Written by:
Kim West
The Lyrics
Listen, sweeties, to a story
That was written moments ago,
'Bout a kingdom in some danger
And a real unhappy prince.
The kingdom was out of treasure
Really deep colossal debt.
See the king took all the treasure.
And he made a really stupid bet.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Come the day of the wedding
And still no sign of the groom.
The king has lost more than treasure,
And now his land faces certain doom.
So the prince has made his escape,
Drank a magic potion down.
Soon became a fetching maiden.
Spell complete she left her crown.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Our heroin saw her people in danger,
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"
She fought side by side with her people,
So she won her just reward.
Met a man during the battle,
Met the foe thrust and parried.
The tide had turned and they had won.
Soon man and woman married.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
That was written moments ago,
'Bout a kingdom in some danger
And a real unhappy prince.
The kingdom was out of treasure
Really deep colossal debt.
See the king took all the treasure.
And he made a really stupid bet.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Come the day of the wedding
And still no sign of the groom.
The king has lost more than treasure,
And now his land faces certain doom.
So the prince has made his escape,
Drank a magic potion down.
Soon became a fetching maiden.
Spell complete she left her crown.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Our heroin saw her people in danger,
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"
She fought side by side with her people,
So she won her just reward.
Met a man during the battle,
Met the foe thrust and parried.
The tide had turned and they had won.
Soon man and woman married.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
Go ahead and place your bets king,
Go ahead and cheat your land.
Do it for the sake of gambling,
Someday you may get a winning hand.
Tried to betrove your son in barter
Forced the wedding day,
Now your son is your new daughter
One fem soldier sashays away.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 6 | 5 |
User Comments
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Not another boy-changes-sex-to-avoid-a-forced-marriage parody! :-) Wow! Where did that idea come from?
Pretty good story-telling!
Hi Rex! I was really tempted to make this song into yet another LotR parody, but I felt that I've been doing too many of those lately. The original song had mentioned treasure, a kingdom, and fighting over said treasure. It was fairly serious and had a strong religious message to it at the end. I looked at that for a while and said what if the king lost all of the kingdoms treasure? What would he do in order to maintain his rule? Having him give away his son in marriage seemed quite natural for him to do. The fact that I made the prince so desperate to not be married was rather interesting. The fact that he'd actually change himself into a woman in order to get out of being married simply meant I have a twisted mind. It is ironic that after successfully escaping from the king, the heroin ends up married anyway, but at least it was on her terms.
Thank you Johnny! ^-^
There is no such thing as writing too many LOTR parodies...look how many people still love me...; )
Ah, but you are far more established than I am Arwen. You have 102 songs to your credit and are fairly popular to boot. I on the other hand just made it to 20 songs and am still building something of a reputation. An eccentric reputation mind you, but a reputation nevertheless.
I detect thoughtfulness and depth in your writing, Kim, both in your commentary (here & over on the messageboard) and in your parodies as well. I look forward to reading more of your creative work.
Thank you for such kind words Johnny. That does really mean a lot to me. (Blushing now)
Oy vey. Maybe I take it personally 'cause this is one of my all-time favorite songs. But too many verses, pacing way, way off, not funny in the slightest, and it was just plain dumb. Let this be your "mulligan," and try again. But, please, with a different song.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I wouldn't want to change it for the world Michael. My parody however will stand just as it is. I like it, and that is all that really matters in the end. My impression of the original song was that it was way too preachy. Like the singer was talking down to the audience. Calling us children at the beginning didn't help. I just wanted to have fun with it and took out the religious element altogether. BTW, I listened to the original song in its entirety. You are correct, my song has exactly one verse too many. It occurs just after the prince leaves her crown. In the original it simply goes into a musical bridge for a while instead of repeating the chorus. Here is the link to the song in case you do not have your own copy of "One Tin Soldier": http://soundamerica.com/sounds/themes/Movies/biljack1.wav
I was hoping this was going to be a parody about Bush and the war. I think a good one could be written to this tune
Biden and Afganistan Doofus
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