ALMOST CUT THE CHEESE

Almost cut the cheese
Happened at the PTA
I was feelin’ kinda full
Should’a skipped the beans that day

But I didn’t, though I thought I’d die
All of those Girl Scouts were standing by
So I felt like I had to hold it in, yeah

Must be because I lost a couple girlfriends
They said they could not stand the smell
It increases my indigestion
Ran away from stinky me and the bowels of Holy Hell

So I’m not, I’m not passing gas right here
And I’m swearing off all that beer
I feel oh, that I had to hold it in

When I get back in the fresh air
I’m gonna cut loose with that sudden rush of “death” air, yeah
I’m gonna make some space inside my gut, yes
Dissipate the wind from my butt

I feel….
Like I’m blasting….SOMEWHERRRRRRRREEE….

(screaming painful vocal)