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Song Parodies -> "The Perfect Country and Western Spoof"
Original Song Title:
"You Never Even Called Me By My Name"
(MP3)Original Performer:
David Allan Coe
Parody Song Title:
"The Perfect Country and Western Spoof"
Parody Written by:
Michael McVey
The Lyrics
“The Perfect Country and Western Spoof” ©2011 by Michael W. McVey
Parody of “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” ©1975 by David Allan Coe
Well it was all that I could do to keep from lyin'
'bout why your pretty daughter came home late,
But you don't have to call me asshole, asshole.
Just because I took her for a date!
You don't have to call me mother-raper,
You know that it's your daughter I wanna lay.
And you don't have to call me a dirty old man,
Because I take a shower twice a day!
CHORUS: And I'd hang around awhile, but you won't let me.
You're brandishing a knife, oh, what a shame.
You don't have to call me asshole, asshole.
From now on, best call me by my name.
I've heard my name a few times in your cussin'
And I saw it once in the paper's crime reports.
But you're gonna learn one day to say, "Mister Mike McVey",
Because I soon will be your son-in-law!
REPEAT CHORUS
(spoken) Well, I got a call from David Allen Coe saying I'd just ruined the perfect country and western song. Well, I told him it was not the perfect country and western song 'cause, though it talked about mama and trains and trucks and prison and gettin' drunk and all that, it didn't pass the backward test. Then he asked me what the backward test was, and I said, well, you know what happens when you play a country and western song backward, and he said of course, you leave the bar, you get your car back and you get your woman back. And I told him I'd played his song backward and it didn't work 'cause none of those things happened, and so it couldn't be the perfect country and western song. But I told him that was OK, that I wasn't gonna let that stop me from mutilatin' his song beyond recognition, and that I was working on butcherin' his famous last verse even as we spoke. The last verse goes like this here:
Well I was drunk when David Allen got outta prison
Mom and I went to fetch him in the rain
But before we could get to the station in her pickup...truck,
The cops caught David tryin' to board a train!
(Spoken) I said he got out, I didn't say they let him out!
REPEAT CHORUS
Parody of “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” ©1975 by David Allan Coe
Well it was all that I could do to keep from lyin'
'bout why your pretty daughter came home late,
But you don't have to call me asshole, asshole.
Just because I took her for a date!
You don't have to call me mother-raper,
You know that it's your daughter I wanna lay.
And you don't have to call me a dirty old man,
Because I take a shower twice a day!
CHORUS: And I'd hang around awhile, but you won't let me.
You're brandishing a knife, oh, what a shame.
You don't have to call me asshole, asshole.
From now on, best call me by my name.
I've heard my name a few times in your cussin'
And I saw it once in the paper's crime reports.
But you're gonna learn one day to say, "Mister Mike McVey",
Because I soon will be your son-in-law!
REPEAT CHORUS
(spoken) Well, I got a call from David Allen Coe saying I'd just ruined the perfect country and western song. Well, I told him it was not the perfect country and western song 'cause, though it talked about mama and trains and trucks and prison and gettin' drunk and all that, it didn't pass the backward test. Then he asked me what the backward test was, and I said, well, you know what happens when you play a country and western song backward, and he said of course, you leave the bar, you get your car back and you get your woman back. And I told him I'd played his song backward and it didn't work 'cause none of those things happened, and so it couldn't be the perfect country and western song. But I told him that was OK, that I wasn't gonna let that stop me from mutilatin' his song beyond recognition, and that I was working on butcherin' his famous last verse even as we spoke. The last verse goes like this here:
Well I was drunk when David Allen got outta prison
Mom and I went to fetch him in the rain
But before we could get to the station in her pickup...truck,
The cops caught David tryin' to board a train!
(Spoken) I said he got out, I didn't say they let him out!
REPEAT CHORUS
©2011 by Michael W. McVey
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User Comments
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A twisted twist on this favorite country song. Not a dirty old man, bathes twice a day. Like the bust him out of jail trick at the end. That was good.
WOW teacher! A Total MASTERMIND, Can we sing one of these awesome songs with bad words in class!?
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