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Song Parodies -> "GP Registrar"
Original Song Title:
"Life On Mars"
(MP3)Original Performer:
David Bowie
Parody Song Title:
"GP Registrar"
Parody Written by:
Alan Bowie
The Lyrics
I wrote this while studying to be a GP. In the UK, part of the GP's training (during his or her "Registrar" year) involves having clinics videoed, and then watching the film with the teacher. I suspect the song will mean nothing to non-GPs, but hope any doctors with too much time on their hands might find it amusing.
It's a god awful small affair,
For a doc in his trainee year,
When the patients are yelling "No!"
And your trainer needs videos.
So I've set up the JVC,
Gave the camera lens a clean,
Set the seats for the clearest view,
And now we're set for the TV screen.
But the surgery's a saddening bore,
Lots of Pill checks and nothing more.
And the time starts to really drag,
As I ask you to focus on
Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.
Now we're reviewing the tape I've done
Using rules set by Pendleton.
So the good bits come first of course,
But then it all goes from bad to worse.
"Well, the strengths as it seems to me,
Were lots of nodding and empathy.
I listened well and picked up the cues,
Was sensitive with bad news".
But the bad points are there, oh my,
Well I made all the patients cry.
So it's got to be done again,
And I ask you to focus on
Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.
For a doc in his trainee year,
When the patients are yelling "No!"
And your trainer needs videos.
So I've set up the JVC,
Gave the camera lens a clean,
Set the seats for the clearest view,
And now we're set for the TV screen.
But the surgery's a saddening bore,
Lots of Pill checks and nothing more.
And the time starts to really drag,
As I ask you to focus on
Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.
Now we're reviewing the tape I've done
Using rules set by Pendleton.
So the good bits come first of course,
But then it all goes from bad to worse.
"Well, the strengths as it seems to me,
Were lots of nodding and empathy.
I listened well and picked up the cues,
Was sensitive with bad news".
But the bad points are there, oh my,
Well I made all the patients cry.
So it's got to be done again,
And I ask you to focus on
Patients queuing at reception,
Oh no, I'll never get my surgery done
It's no bloody fun.
Take a look at my dress sense,
I've started wearing tweed now
Suede brogues.
I think I'll grow some facial hair.
It's really not fair.
GP Registrar.
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Well the pacing was good and it certainly did make me smile, especially the line about making all the patients cry... :-)
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