VICTORIAN PIE
(IF DON MCLEAN HAD WRITTEN THE G & S STORY)
A long long time ago
No one can remember now
The music that was tops in style
Light operettas with romance
Pomp and pride, principals' stance
Domain of these two chappies by a mile
Art Sullivan was music giver
William Gilbert words deliver
They produced a huge rep
They couldn't take one false step
D'Oyley Carte so full of pride
Built Savoy Theatre, success ride
But temperaments did slow divide
Until the magic died
So bye bye, Little Buttercup shy
Captain Corcoran and your commander Porter, Lord High
Them good old sailors flags of Pinafore fly
Singing Dick basso-profundo Deadeye
Dick basso-profundo Deadeye
When they wrote this book of love
(Ralph Rickstraw and Cap's daughter of)
More productions start to flow
Like latter kings of rocknroll
Down Mayfair proud do the funky stroll
The first to teach real theatre music-show
And more success came after 'Pin'
Pirates Penzancin' caught folks' whim
Duty or love must choose
Pretty maids and lusty ship crews
It was genius, steam-age song and luck
That separate them from the ruck
Their players packed pose, poise and pluck
That gay belle-époque wide
(They started singing)
Pour, pour - this sea life we adore
Major-general amenable to men of sea-roar
Them cop-per boys are waiting there on the shore
Singing this is not a-lot-happy chore
This is not a-lot-happy chore
In ten years, London was their own
No masque, burlesque - cosy family tone
Not bawdy like shows used to be
Gilb the jester mocked the pomp and preen
Warbling quotes, they borrow from famed scene
Sung in voice that 'comes from you and me!'
For exotic theme, they looked around
Their best of all was not yet down
Far Eastern spoof they churned
Top profits were returned
Mikado spread and made its mark
'Three little maids from school' we hark
'I've got a list': mild satire lark
Their world, their music wide
(The world was singin')
True, true, Yum Yum loves Nanki-Pooh
Flowers bring in the spring, tra-la, we sing loud and true
Those good clear voices, but there's quaint pathos too
Singing tit-willow, the day that he die
Tit-willow the day that he die.
Well turned, melted in the lyric smelter
Gilbert's words: there could be nothing svelter
A-style, wry and sink in fast
Each cultured owl in the gentry class
Could quote verbatim like the foremost cast
From the best of the libretti thus amassed
Art Sull'van's airs made ladies swoon
While rousing were his marching tunes
Performers primp and prance
How they revelled in romance
And the players were the best afield
Every nuance made the meaning yield
On stage, plot twists were joys revealed
The world (their music) wide
(They started singin')
More, more, 'Yeomen' and 'Ruddigore'
'Gondoliers' has no peers, hearty cheers for your lore
That ol' Queen Vic, at Windsor Castle she saw
Singin' 'We are truly duly amused
- Rooly rooly truly amused!'
So there they were in lofty place
High elevation, wide fan base
But new show: time to start again
So come on Will, be nimble! Art, be quick!
Mind flash, hump over candlewick
'Cos fashion is the theater's only friend
But as Gilbert saw a modern stage
His partner looked to a golden age
Libretto work was hell
Forsake grand opera's spell
And as their fame climbed higher, out of sight
Their chemistry was struck by blight
Collaboration no delight
And thus the music dried
(Gilbert singing)
'Why, why, our ideas do not tie?
Playful farces up their arses, Arty, classy and spry
Them good ol' noisy patrons itching to spy
Singing, this'll be a hit, please comply
This'll be a hit, please comply!'
But Sullivan, he had the blues
For he'd denied his serious muse
Not reconciled, just turned away
Savoy House, the sacred store:
Doyley-Carte gazed at the floor
The band there said new music: none to play
Accounts irregular, it seemed
Sullivan cried and Gilbert screamed
Many cross words were spoken
The partnership was broken
And the three men that had toiled the most
- Vexed Gilbert, Sull, and the D'Oyley host
Sued performing rights to boast
And so the magic died
(We were singing)
Bye, bye, you Victorian guys
Left your legacy of mega-stages begging for eyes
Them good ol' fans are still in need of reprise
Singing, willow tit-willow will not die
Willow tit-willow will not die
High, high, high-school musical, hi!
You young actors learn the facts of drama praxis by try
Learn, girls and boys, whence modern musical, why!
Singing willow, tit-willow will not die
Willow tit-willow, G/S no goodbye
Original recording on YouYube.