-> "Mr. Miracle Guy (The life, death, and afterlife of Jesus Christ)"
Original Song Title:
"American Pie"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Mr. Miracle Guy (The life, death, and afterlife of Jesus Christ)"
The Lyrics
A long, long, time ago
Most say in December
But I doubt it since it wasn't cold
Well two Jews out in Bethlehem
Just had a baby born to them
A stable's where it happened, so we're told
I never understood the story
How those three kings brought presents for me
Who knew what's their purpose
When all their gifts were worthless
Oh well whatever if they're wise
They would know their reasons more than I
I wish they told my mother why
They said these words that night: "oh
Hey, hey, it's a miracle babe
So his birth has just one purpose for the earth to be saved
I hope this boy will
One day show me the way"
Seems like that whole story may have been fake
That whole story may have been fake
Would you try to right some wrongs
Or just play it safe and play along
Cause to fight is hard for sure
Now the Jews had needed some reform
The Pharisees had earned my scorn
For clinging to the
Law and not the Lord
Well I tried to get a following
But that's not a very easy thing
I fed five thousand once
But few were impressed by that stunt
I cured some homeless blind men, some complained
Since I did my saving on the Sabbath day
Some people are just hard to sway
I wondered why I tried
And they were singing,
Fly, fly, Mr. miracle guy
If it's too tough then it's true what you have said is a lie
Though you make these claims until I see with my eye
Then I'll think you are a fake and not wise
Think you are a fake and not wise
Then for two years, well I taught and roamed
Got some to clap, others throwing stones
I said what I wanted to say
In the desert I did an awful lot
And almost succeeded in my plot
Until Judas gave me up for pay
Then questioning about the crime
Of claiming kingship of some kind
I caved in and confessed
That person made me stressed
Some Jews were told by the high chief
They could spare me or spare a thief
I watched the scene in disbelief
Then I was crucified
And some were thinkin'
Die, die, Mr. Miracle guy
You're disturbing and unnerving and unable to fly
When you're teaching boys then you're corrupting their minds"
But a race is not to blame for their crime
Race is not to blame for their crime
Preaching, teaching, was really far reaching
Men all through Europe heard Paul beseeching
"Cast off your idols, worship Christ"
But in Rome each adult
Knew you must be in the Emperor's cult
And the didn't treat the Christians very nice
But then the Emperor named Constantine
Said that he had a special dream
That he'd have victory
Oh, if he chose to worship me
So the Romans got some shocking news
Their Caesar's faith had come from Jews
And they were urged to change their views
The day Olympus died
And they were thinkin'
:Why, why, this old miracle guy?
He's a pest who got arrested, executed and died"
And then Constantine gave them a simple reply:
"Subjects, I'm your Emperor and that is why
I'm you emperor and that is why"
So there were a lot who prayed to me
But very few truly believed
A growing Church was getting rich
And then Dad was napping, Dad got sick
The Clergy went into politics
And business with me as their main sales pitch
And since the Pope called for Crusades
Much death was dealt out in my name
Just one could intervene
But he was having dreams
And when some hateful guy invokes my name
I wish I'd never achieved fame
But he would be evil either way
It's not my fault he lies
It gets me thinking
Why, why, must these terrible guys
Make believe I support deeds while they are not justified
Yeah I get annoyed when so-called worshippers lie
Oh well what can I do from way up high?
What can I do from way up high?
I heard a man just made a film
About the time when I was killed
Some love it while others protest
To me its content is unknown
But no matter what it should be shown
Freedom of speech would have saved me from that mess
My father's been asleep for years
I wonder what he'll think when he hears
About the greed and hatred
In the name of the sacred
He might have hot and holy blood
And cool things off with a month long flood
I won't tell him, I'll be your bud
If most of you will try
Just try, try, not to make people cry
No more warring, I'm imploring, life is short enough, why
Must someone destroy somebody else's life
Will you listen to the miracle guy
Listen to the miracle guy
Try, try, not to make people cry
No more warring, I'm imploring, life is short enough, why
Must someone destroy somebody else's life
Will you listen to the miracle guy
Listen to the miracle guy
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.3 | |
How Funny: | 3.9 | |
Overall Rating: | 3.9 | |
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Total Votes: | 14 |
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Voting Breakdown
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