Goodbye Enormous Jeans
Though I never pressed you at all
You had the grace to starch yourself
While jeans around you balled
They balled out of their stitching
And they burst into a flame
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a pantalone filled with sin
Never knowing who to cling to
When the perma-press cycle set in
And I would have liked to have worn you
But I was just a kid
Your style had gone out long before
Your legend ever did

Stonewashing was tough
The toughest role.... you ever played
Stonewashing created a superstar
And lint was the price you paid
Even when you were dyed
Oh the press still hounded you
All the irons had to say...

...Was that bellbottoms were really quite crude

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a paradox in a dryer
Never knowing (..echo here..) who to cling to (..echo here ..)
When the other jeans caught on fire
And I would have liked to have worn you
But I was just a kid
Your starch had dried out long before
Your legend ever did


Goodbye Enormous Jeans
From the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something more than sexual
More than just our farmworker's utility clothes........

THE END