It's a little bit funny, no feeling inside
I can't really tell if I'm well, or I've died
Don't know when I've farted, they say it's my spine
But I've loads of money,
So it should be fine

I fell off the roof (I slipped on some moss)
Well most of the nurses, they don't give a toss
But matron's been quite kind, and it's a bore
For people to turn me round, when I get sore

And you can tell everybody Elton's okay
A little bit shaken, yes, but still very gay,
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
The feeling of sleeping in a bed full of turds.