Goodbye from the team
From everyone who played Slapball
You had the grace to hold your serve
While those around you were on calls
When Ascpect was the network
Andrew Challis would whisper in to your brain
You used to be called Lee Holmes
But then you changed your name

And it seemed to me when taking calls for life It was like pissing in the wind
Never being able to get through to the payments team
Though some callers couldn't understand you
You'll always be "our kid"
The crabsticks will expire long before you legend ever did

You did charity and stuff
But the best prank you every played
Was when you glued a coin outside
And a pound was the price you paid
Even when you cried
When the CC were waxing you
All the COT team had to say
Was lets do Jabloablon in the loo

And it seemed to me when taking calls for life It was like pissing in the wind
Never being able to get through to the payments team
Though some callers couldn't understand you
You'll always be "our kid"
The crabsticks will expire long before you legend ever did

Goodbye from the team
From everyone who played Slapball
You had the grace to hold your serve
While those around you were on calls
Goodbye from the team
Hope you get work on the 22nd go
Working as something more than sexual
More than just a crack smoking ho

And it seemed to me when taking calls for life It was like pissing in the wind
Never being able to get through to the payments team
Though some callers couldn't understand you You'll always be "our kid"
The crabsticks will expire long before you legend ever did