Chubby baby, the First Lady has a simple plan:
Any food that tastes good, that’s a thing she wants to ban.
Ms. Obama, it might cause trauma heeding your command.
Will I be shot with, if I’m caught with Jolly Ranchers in my hand?

Teachers check out what kids eat
Penalizing those who snack.
Skittles earn a wrist slap;
Repeat offenders get the rack.

But as the schools enforce these rules,
We see pandemonium.
When classrooms are like prisons,
We might be less fat, but more dumb.

When I crave some sweets to eat,
Krispy Kremes are in my dreams;
But the snack I most often choose
Gives me sweet and gummy chews:

Ease my cravings, Jolly Ranchers;
Counts of calories I’ll ignore.
Even though I’ll get detention,
I’m going to eat a whole lot more.

“Don’t eat gravy,” the First Lady says on all her trips.
“Shun French fries and pot pies; be wary of cream cheese dips.
And Doritos, you must not eat those tasty little chips.”
But whom will I hurt if I insert Jolly Ranchers through my lips?