I lack the gas to drive tonight
Zero power, nine p.m.
So I'm gonna just ride on my bike instead

I need some food and stuff to feed my wife
She's freaking out and spaced
I've got a nine-speed bike


And I think it's gonna take a short short time
Will just down-shift if there's a hill to climb
I'm not in shape, but I can hold my own
Oh no no no, now my sprocket's jammed
Sprocket jam, cursing and confused with no cell phone

And I think it's gonna be a long long night
A clutz I am, I can't repair my bike
I'm not as handy as they think at home
Oh no no no, not a sprocket man
Sprocket jam, yearning for some booze out here alone


Bars ain't the kind of place for men with kids
I spot one up the hill
And there's no place near this haven by the bridge

And all this high-ness, not a sober man
Unruly mob, this place just reeks
I need a hand, my sprocket's jammed


And a drink I haven't seen a long long time
A tough clown buys some rounds of gin with lime
I'm not a man who drinks when I'm at home
Oh no no no, now I'm crocked up, man
Crocked up man, burning out on booze and beer, I'm stoned

And I think I'm gonna need a long long life
To sober up enough to face my wife
I'm not a man who ever bikes while stoned
Oh no no no, I'm a crocked up man
Crocked up man, burning out on booze and beer, I'm stoned

And I think I'm gonna need some strong strong wine (8x to fade)