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Song Parodies -> "To Love Her's Barmy"
Original Song Title:
"Oliver's Army"
Original Performer:
Elvis Costello
Parody Song Title:
"To Love Her's Barmy"
Parody Written by:
the_conqueror_of_parodies
The Lyrics
My entry in the Parody Decathlon - Event 3. Not based on a true story (thank goodness).
She won't stop talking
Yet she drives you wild
Celebs she is stalking
Still you think about her all night
Calls toilets her salvation
Are you sure your brain's not on vacation?
To love her's barmy, because she smells
To love her's barmy, she looks like hell
And could someone please poke my eyes out 'cause
She just ain't belle
She wears a corset Charlie
She's really fat and wide
Don't take her to a party
She will eat everything in sight
I don't think she'll get much bigger
Just get her one more sherbet digger
To love her's barmy, you must be deaf
To love her's barmy, sings in bass clef
Don't know why you've agreed to one more date
With Ol' Fat Steph
You've seen her pick her nose
Then wipe it on her clothes
Still you bring her choc-o-lates
Can't you see she's way overweight
Full of fat from KFC, McDonald's, Hungry Jack's
Why do you love her
I think you need an "Insane" stamp
Give her cash, gold and myrrh
She don't need it as she lives like a tramp
Always out of work 'cause she's a whore
But still you're, as they say, 'en amor'
To love her's barmy, sure you ain't blind?
To love her's barmy, her teeth she grinds
And she squeezed the toothpaste in the middle
You lost your mind?
And she is inconceivably ugly
Face like a rind
Have you ever looked her straight in the face?
Looks like a hind
Oh you sad, blind, tone-deaf lovesick twit*
Yet she drives you wild
Celebs she is stalking
Still you think about her all night
Calls toilets her salvation
Are you sure your brain's not on vacation?
To love her's barmy, because she smells
To love her's barmy, she looks like hell
And could someone please poke my eyes out 'cause
She just ain't belle
She wears a corset Charlie
She's really fat and wide
Don't take her to a party
She will eat everything in sight
I don't think she'll get much bigger
Just get her one more sherbet digger
To love her's barmy, you must be deaf
To love her's barmy, sings in bass clef
Don't know why you've agreed to one more date
With Ol' Fat Steph
You've seen her pick her nose
Then wipe it on her clothes
Still you bring her choc-o-lates
Can't you see she's way overweight
Full of fat from KFC, McDonald's, Hungry Jack's
Why do you love her
I think you need an "Insane" stamp
Give her cash, gold and myrrh
She don't need it as she lives like a tramp
Always out of work 'cause she's a whore
But still you're, as they say, 'en amor'
To love her's barmy, sure you ain't blind?
To love her's barmy, her teeth she grinds
And she squeezed the toothpaste in the middle
You lost your mind?
And she is inconceivably ugly
Face like a rind
Have you ever looked her straight in the face?
Looks like a hind
Oh you sad, blind, tone-deaf lovesick twit*
*This parodies the nine "Oh"'s at the end.Note: "Rind" is the skin of a fruit or whatever the hell a bacon rind is.And a hind is a type of deer.Oh, and mrryh was some really expensive...something back in the days of the Bible. And it's pronounced 'mir'
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 15 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
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LOL! And a fine OS to parody, too!
Bob...this is one of the funniest things you've writtn. Harsh as hell, but very funny. Bravo. 555
nice work, bobpie - you are definitely on the up - I'm sure fat old Steph would have loved receiving the myrrh, but nobody who squeezes toothpaste from the middle deserves myrrh in my opinion - 555
Anybody who reads this and doesn't burst out laughing needs and "Insane" stamp. So Weird Al like it's incredible!
DEC:- when did you meet the wife ? lol 555
(dec3) see above - mmmmmmm, sherbet diggers.....
(Decathlon) "Insane" stamp ... heh heh!
I could have dealt with everything else about this woman, but squeezing the toothpaste from the middle! That's where I draw the line! 5s.
(DEC3) See above, bob...and kudos for being the only person to do a Costello number for this comp
Decathlon...very funny all over, and Jeff's comment was classic, too! =)
brilliant, just brillaint, 5s
(ABC) First time reading, giggled quite immensely. Love the "bigger/digger" lines as the sub for the contorversial "white n*****" couplet. Very good!
I agree this is very Weird Al like.... Kinda like "I'm So Sick Of You" only inversed, because it contains all of the great insults like that song, but it's told from the friends perspective, because the guy is still in love with this horrible woman. One of your best Conquerer.
Sir, . . . you've Got it Bad, and That Ain't Good . . .
Great
(ABC) see above, twice - I think it's your skill at unexpected detail that's elevated you up the ranks lately, bobpie - humour everywhere here - good stuff
This is excellent, pieman. Lots of funny lines. I had to look up "barmy", but that aside there was much to enjoy here. "sherbet digger" was truly inspired. 555
(ABC4T) Thank the good Lord for drunkened black outs, 'cause I know back in my single youth bingeing days I must have picked up my fair share of these skanks and the grace of the drunkard's blackout must have saved me more than a few times. This is pure funny. 5 for the parody and on the same scale a one for what a barmy state would give a 10.
My first impulse was to comment on the toothpaste, but I see that's been done...twice. Maybe she has a "nice personality" ???
ABC- Very funny and well done, Bob. Brings back alot of unpleasant memories.
(ABC) Hmmm, a little Chubilicious on your hands there? Luckily for me I'm into all sizes, so for me this works!
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