When Am I Writers ‘do’ trans-species
{Oh, Oh Oooovine!}
For every genus they ‘score’ songs
So why’s it always ‘shimmied’ chamois?
{Oh, Oh Oooovine!}
When “Wham-bam, Thank-you Lamb’s” so wrong!

Damn your ‘sheepish’ guys
Their Shepard’s ‘pies’
And Pasture-geysing dudes
Makes me chunder…
This plunder of ewes!

So Mr. Barry, we say, “Scr’ewe you!”
{Oh, Oh Oooovine!}
Damn Turtle’s ‘ManDates’ – they’re a crime!
Hay, Airfarce, M & P and Alvin
{Oh Oh Oooovine!}
Ewe’ve fleeced-our-flocks—we’re ‘Mad’ Ovine

And so we'll catch anthrax
To whack Man’s ‘sacks’
So choose a muse that moos
Or be sundered…
For plunder of ewes!

~
{Instrumental with Bighorn Choir’s background ‘Ohooo’s’:
Oh, Oh Oooovine!,
Why not Porcine?!,
Or fly Bovine?!}
~

I guess I’ll never know
Just what 'gave rise'
To rhyme-o-reaming ewes
Been so plundered—
You’d think we were J’ewes!

~
~ Wild hoof stomping brings Dolly back out on stage to reprise a final verse ~
~

Damn Am I Writers, see
I’d rather be
The mutton in your stew
Than be plundered
By Kristof or Stu!

~
~ More wild hoof stomping to classic Elvis 'traveling music', followed by unmistakable sounds of stropping to a razor’s edge of fine Australian rapier… wit ~
~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through the grapevine, I've heard the Bighorns have put out a f'ewe contracts...

~~ Tony Sheeprano’s Hit List ~~
(a partial, l’ewe’garithmically growing compendium... sorry if I've missed anyone!)

~~~~~~~~~

John Barry ~ ewe’ve at least eight transgressions:
1. "Found Out About Ewe,"
"Found Out About You,"
2. "I'm Cookin' Spelt 'n' Ewe,"
"I Put a Spell on You
3. Bo Peepian Ram Knows Sheep,"
"Bohemian Rhapsody
4. "Blue By Ewe,"
"Blue Bayou,"
5. "If Not for Ewe,"
"If Not for You,"
6. "Missed, Shot Four Ewe,"
"If Not for Ewe,"
7. "I Popped an Elk and Ewe,"
"I Put a Spell on You,"
8. "I've Gotta Tell My Ewe,"
"I Put a Spell on You,"


Tommy Turtle ~ ewe’ve at least six transgressions:

1. Back In The Ewe A*s, Us Are
Back In The U.S.S.R.
2. I Lie With Sheeps Tonight
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
3. Sheep Love You
She Loves You
4. Sheep: Care, Ovine
Sweet Caroline
5. A Shepherd Am I
American Pie
6. Have You Got Bleating On Your Mind?
Woman, Woman


Airfarcewon ~ ewe’ve at least four transgressions:

1. "Breaking In The Sheep,"
"Bringing In The Sheaves,"
2. "Two Sheepy People,"
"Two Sleepy People,"
3. "Till There Was Ewe,"
"Till There Was You,"

4. "You Made Me Love Ewe,"
"You made me love you,"


Merry & Pippin ~ ewe’ve at least tewe transgressions:

1. "Cows, Ewes, Mules Too,"
"How Do You Do?,"
2. "Nice to Be with Ewe,"
"Nice to Be with You


TJC ~ Butt one transgression, though, like Jimmy Carter, I’ve transgressed often ‘in my part’:

"I Get No Clicks Out Of Ewes!,"
"I Get A Kick Out Of You!," Frank Sinatra / Cole Porter


Alvin Rhodes~ ewe’ve transgressed at least once:

"Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep,"
"Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap


Others ~ n’ewe’merous transgressions:

1. "The Ditto Sheep Can't Fight," William Tong
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight," The Tokens
2. "No one Cares (About Sheep)," Kieran Hayde & Heather Godwin
"All You Wanted," Michelle Branch
3. "Lullaby of the Sheep," Conrad MacRoberts
"Lullaby of the Leaves," Joe Young/Bernice Petkere
4. "Something Sheepish," Brian Damaged
"Something Stupid," Frank Sinatra & Nancy Sinatra
5. "One Sheep," S.T.G.
"One Thing," Finger Eleven
6. "Dirty Deeds (Done With Sheep)," Me
"Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)," AC/DC
7. "Sneakin' Up On Sheep," Rick Duncan
"Bringing In the Sheaves," Trad.
8. "Revenge of the Sleep Sheep," Starlette Victory
"Who Needs Sleep?," Barenaked Ladies
9. "It Don't Matter To Sheep," Tim Mayfield
"It Don't Matter To Me," Bread
10. "The Whitest Sheep Are Tight," Malcolm Higgins
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight," The Tokens
11. "20000 Sheep," Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
"20000 Feet," Saxon
12. "Boulevard of Broken Sheep," Crazy T
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams," Green Day
13. "Tryst With The Sheep," Red Ant
"Kiss From A Rose," Seal
14. "Yes, I Did Molest A Sheep," Paul Robinson
"Sad and Deep as You," Dave Mason
15. "All the Sheep Will Scream," MrMacphisto
"I Don't Sleep, I Dream," R.E.M.
16. "Where The Sheeps Have Lo Mein," Malcolm Higgins
"Where The Strets Have No Name," U2
17. "I Want Ewe," Paul Wooten
"I Want You," Bob Dylan
18. "If You Fall (In Love With Ewes)," PMS
"If I Fell," The Beatles
19. "I Only Want to be With Ewes," Sheep Trick
"I Only Want to be With You," Dusty Springfield
20. "Me And Ewes And a Hog or Two," Sheep Trick
"Me And You And a Dog Named Boo," Kent Lavoie
21. "Wishing Ewes Were Here," Malcolm Higgins
"Wishing You Were Here," Chicago
22. "(Now That Ewe's Gone) The Abandoned Foal Song ," Malcolm Higgins "Band Of Gold ," Freda Payne
23. "Baby's A Ewe," Malcolm Higgins
"Baby It's You," The Beatles

~