It's late in the evening; she's wondering what beans to eat.
She boils up some pintos and throws in a little meat.
And then she asks me, "Will I smell all right?".
And I say "No, you'll smell horrible tonight."

She goes into farting, and everyone turns to see
This malodorous lady who won't get away from me.
And then she asks me "Do you feel all right?".
And I say "No, I feel nauseated tonight."

I feel nauseous just because I smell the gas that from you flies.
And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize
How much we smell you.

It's time to go home now, and she's got an aching gut.
So she uses the toilet, and wipes off her sticky butt.
And then I tell her as she turns out the light,
I say "My darling, you smelled horrible tonight."