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Song Parodies -> "Ain't No Woman (And No Grammar Taught)"
Original Song Title:
"Ain't No Woman (Like the One I've Got)"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Four Tops
Parody Song Title:
"Ain't No Woman (And No Grammar Taught)"
Parody Written by:
Rick Duncan
The Lyrics
I once walked into a bar and ordered a Budweiser. The barmaid said "We ain't got none" So I said, "Well I'll take it, then". She said "Didn't you hear me, I said we ain't got none!" And I said, "I understood what you said, so serve it up!" this went on until she threw me out. I wasn't gonna drink no Coors!
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Every day the words don't not quite fit her
She don't make no birds sing harmony
I'm not glad that I ain't wit' her
Must use double negativity
It creates no small confusion
But that's what this language be
Ooooh, ain't no woman and no grammar taught
The schools ain't getting' better
It ain't no problem if you don't get caught
She don't take no spit, (the opposite)
Fits together like a foot in glove
The law is not the letter
Ain't no englitch I don't push and shove
She do talk me up when we's conversatin' (when datin')
Put some comprehension in our slang
We a bit unsure in da communicatin' ('nacatin')
If it ain't got swing, it don' mean a thang
I could miss the sound she talks on
But I don't unnerstand word she sang, now
Woo-ooh Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Well I miss the sound she talks on
To speak this crappy doesn't take a lot
She's a gooder friend right to the end
Fit together like a horse and dove
Lonely when she ain't not here
People, my first language I don't speak well of
Ooohh, what a good good thing, I'm glad
Or does good mean bad?
I ain't never gonna have her not
Ain't no language that I ain't not taught
(To quote Lou Costello, "I don't even know what
I'm talkin' about!)
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Every day the words don't not quite fit her
She don't make no birds sing harmony
I'm not glad that I ain't wit' her
Must use double negativity
It creates no small confusion
But that's what this language be
Ooooh, ain't no woman and no grammar taught
The schools ain't getting' better
It ain't no problem if you don't get caught
She don't take no spit, (the opposite)
Fits together like a foot in glove
The law is not the letter
Ain't no englitch I don't push and shove
She do talk me up when we's conversatin' (when datin')
Put some comprehension in our slang
We a bit unsure in da communicatin' ('nacatin')
If it ain't got swing, it don' mean a thang
I could miss the sound she talks on
But I don't unnerstand word she sang, now
Woo-ooh Ain't no woman and no grammar taught
Well I miss the sound she talks on
To speak this crappy doesn't take a lot
She's a gooder friend right to the end
Fit together like a horse and dove
Lonely when she ain't not here
People, my first language I don't speak well of
Ooohh, what a good good thing, I'm glad
Or does good mean bad?
I ain't never gonna have her not
Ain't no language that I ain't not taught
(To quote Lou Costello, "I don't even know what
I'm talkin' about!)
Very hard to spellcheck this puppy.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
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Hey, this was pretty good. 5-5-5
Internal rhyme sparkles throughout this parody: some samples...."I could miss the sound she talks on" ...... "To speak this crappy doesn’t take a lot" .... "The law is not the letter" ........ I sure ain't not gonna fail to not refrain from stopping myself from not refusing to give this 5's.
Rick D - Yes, it's amazing 6 months ago I could not speak English and now I are teaching it.... 5-5-5
I aint not gonna give this 5s!
Well I ain't never gonna not know nothing if I isn't gonna not try!
Liked your parody, Rick, and . . . oops, I goota not not run to the not head.
i would never not give ya no grade lower than no five for this parody
I was laughing before I even got to the song
You meet the most interesting people serving beer--DANG That there was a good-un! =D
This was great Rick! I was always amused to see that in Russian it is not only acceptable but the norm to use multiple negatives: "I don't never want none" is a perfectly respectable sentence. :-)
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