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Song Parodies -> "New 'Pork', New 'Pork'!"
Original Song Title:
"New York, New York"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"New 'Pork', New 'Pork'!"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
It seems Paris Hilton's no longer content to rein (reign?) herself in...
Here's a YouTube sing-a-long version
New 'Pork', New 'Pork'!
(by Paris Hilton)
~
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah…
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah…
Bra, bra, bra, Nada, DUH!
Start bedding Tom Cruise
*while* mounting M.J.
I want to reek of 'super freak'—
New ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’
These shag-a-blonde screws
and frat boy buffets
Now bore me stiff - those uber-geeks—
Pru- dorks,
Pru- dorks!
I wanna three-way Dennis Rodman
with ‘big horn’ sheep
Then wake as Doctor Phil's slave –
‘Little Ho Peep’
These spittled on boobs
Are longing to play
Unslaked, this randy tart—like Brit—
Needs ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’!
I don’t do — lay-ssez faire
I’m more a — Miss Times Square!
I’ve schtupp’d the queue
Que ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’!
~ Bump n’ grind instrumental ~
(heavy on 'horn')
New pork,
New pork!
I want to shag a smallish city,
Hump ‘em in heaps—
And find I’m: 'kay, not a nun!
Swap of the tryst!
Kink of the thrill!
HEY – NOT – A – NUN!
I - used – to – re-fuse
the svelte and the fey–
But now I'll try new kinds of 'guys' -
Oooh! Bjork!
YOU… Bjork!
Then next I’ll { Boom, Tish! } ravish Cher,
And see what’s { Tish, Boom! } REALLY there!
It’s schtupp YOU, TOO
New ‘Pork’!
NEWWWW PORRRRRK!
Ewww! ‘Pork’!,
Ewww! ‘Pork’!
~ explosive horns ~
EWE ‘PORK’*?!!!
(by Paris Hilton)
~
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah…
Blah, blah, blah-blah-blah…
Bra, bra, bra, Nada, DUH!
Start bedding Tom Cruise
*while* mounting M.J.
I want to reek of 'super freak'—
New ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’
These shag-a-blonde screws
and frat boy buffets
Now bore me stiff - those uber-geeks—
Pru- dorks,
Pru- dorks!
I wanna three-way Dennis Rodman
with ‘big horn’ sheep
Then wake as Doctor Phil's slave –
‘Little Ho Peep’
These spittled on boobs
Are longing to play
Unslaked, this randy tart—like Brit—
Needs ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’!
I don’t do — lay-ssez faire
I’m more a — Miss Times Square!
I’ve schtupp’d the queue
Que ‘pork’,
New ‘pork’!
~ Bump n’ grind instrumental ~
(heavy on 'horn')
New pork,
New pork!
I want to shag a smallish city,
Hump ‘em in heaps—
And find I’m: 'kay, not a nun!
Swap of the tryst!
Kink of the thrill!
HEY – NOT – A – NUN!
I - used – to – re-fuse
the svelte and the fey–
But now I'll try new kinds of 'guys' -
Oooh! Bjork!
YOU… Bjork!
Then next I’ll { Boom, Tish! } ravish Cher,
And see what’s { Tish, Boom! } REALLY there!
It’s schtupp YOU, TOO
New ‘Pork’!
NEWWWW PORRRRRK!
Ewww! ‘Pork’!,
Ewww! ‘Pork’!
~ explosive horns ~
EWE ‘PORK’*?!!!
*isn't that two-thirds of a club sandwich?
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User Comments
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This sheds a whole new light on "Pork Barrell". This rates an earmark of $555K. Loved the ‘Little Ho Peep’ ref. Well done.
You're a regular Frank Sleezatra!!!
LOL! Great one...
At first I thought this was going to be like TCOP's Eat Pork, eat Pork, but it was a neat twist, and interesting choice on 'character' to sing, original is one of the classic Sinatra songs, so it's always nice to see it parodied too.
porkingly pleasant
Thanks guys...she's probably not *quite* this bad! And if she sues, my only defense is I couldn't quite force that 'York' / 'Spock' rhyme! [*mopes wistfully*]
:-) ...and doncha just love Paris in the spring? Maybe you could do a "Producers" parody sequel: "Springtime for Hilton pornography" ;-)
"spittled on boobs"? -- LOL! (aside from the fact that as a compound adjective, "spittled-on" should be hyphenated :) :) :)
Too bad for PH they cleaned up Times Square. Her great-grandfather who founded the hotel chain, Conrad Hilton, looking down from Heaven, must be every bit as proud of her as I am of you for this Master-- no, make that Mistresspiece. (Maybe I'm even a little prouder than CH.) I rain/rein/reign 555+ on you (don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're homophonic) for "doing" her in the only way that any sane person would. Much safer - haven't heard of PTDs yet ("parody-transmitted).
As for that lawsuit, I'll bet she'd settle out of court and in bed. Wear a hazmat suit when you "settle".
Too bad for PH they cleaned up Times Square. Her great-grandfather who founded the hotel chain, Conrad Hilton, looking down from Heaven, must be every bit as proud of her as I am of you for this Master-- no, make that Mistresspiece. (Maybe I'm even a little prouder than CH.) I rain/rein/reign 555+ on you (don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're homophonic) for "doing" her in the only way that any sane person would. Much safer - haven't heard of PTDs yet ("parody-transmitted).
As for that lawsuit, I'll bet she'd settle out of court and in bed. Wear a hazmat suit when you "settle".
What, my comment at your "Moon River" parody didn't give ya da hint, and ya disrespect me again? Well, ya got cajones, anyway....
Phil--Thanks.. Clever title sub worthy of full production, me thinks!
Tommy--Rarely, especially on issues grammar, would I challenge you--however--*clearly* this is a prepHo-sitional phrase, and requires no hymen. As to the rest, thanks for the props/v/c! BTW, as yule recall, I'm extremely homophonophobic...
Tommy--Rarely, especially on issues grammar, would I challenge you--however--*clearly* this is a prepHo-sitional phrase, and requires no hymen. As to the rest, thanks for the props/v/c! BTW, as yule recall, I'm extremely homophonophobic...
Maybe Paris could do a "duet" with Sinatra for this - liked the Schtupp you too - clever.
"These spittled on boobs Are longing to play".
Subject = "boobs". Verb = "are longing". Prepositional phrase = "to play". Adjectives modifying subject/noun "boobs" = "These" (adjectives answer, "Which, what kind of, how many? -- which boobs? these). and also "spittled-on" (Which or what kind of boobs? "spittled-on" ones.)
Point, game, set, and match to Turtle. A smack on the knuckles to Mr. Monogram.
Subject = "boobs". Verb = "are longing". Prepositional phrase = "to play". Adjectives modifying subject/noun "boobs" = "These" (adjectives answer, "Which, what kind of, how many? -- which boobs? these). and also "spittled-on" (Which or what kind of boobs? "spittled-on" ones.)
Point, game, set, and match to Turtle. A smack on the knuckles to Mr. Monogram.
Teach... I guessssss you're right..... but you know I'm only a 3rd grader!
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