-> "Cheerleader Truant"
Original Song Title:
"Harold the Barrel"
Parody Song Title:
"Cheerleader Truant"
The Lyrics
A well-known teenage cheer squad captain disappeared
early this morning.
Last seen in a sparkly halter top,
driving a Chevrolet,
she’s not even old enough.
Her mother’s real disgusted
Such a horrible thing to do
Cheerleader truant stole a new car and she crashed into a tree
Can't go far, she can't go far
She’s gonna be grounded
She can't go far
she’s standing in the highway by the forest
Worry is mounting
There's a restless crowd of worried people
More than we've ever seen.
Had to send out a rescue team
Over to the scene at the school yard
The girls all searched for her
Cheerleader:
We gotta find her, she can’t do that, the competition is after school
We can't lose out, we can’t lose out
2nd cheerleader:
Said you couldn't trust her, her boyfriend was the same
We can’t lose out!
Girl:
If I was old enough to drive,
I'd be cruising in a shiny new Chevrolet
Instead I'm only 14 years old,
With my whole life ahead
Down on the highway
Edge of the highway
Her best friend:
We can help you
Cheerleaders:
We can help you
We're all your friends, if you come with us and talk to us, hon.
Girl:
You must be joking
All you bitches suck!
The girls were getting stronger, our cheerleader’s getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, searching everywhere
Fearing the very worst
They called her mother on the phone
Up came a ringing cell phone
Her mother was barking pissed
2nd Cheerleader:
Come on girl, your mother’s on the phone and she’s very, very, very upset.
Just can't go, you just can't go
Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from ABC
You just can't go
Her best friend:
We can help you
The girls:
We can help you
We're all your friends, if you come with us and talk to us, honey
Girl:
You must be joking.
all you bitches suck!
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