I'm just a little older now,
After frittering away my youth
I promised myself to humble myself
And visit a confession booth:
And entering the church, I started my first soul search.
Overcome with guilt, I meant to atone to
The One whose blood was splattered.
I was kneeling in the booth, to tell the truth.
The priest was saying: "Son, tell me all your sins."
My sins I started naming.
And when I was almost done,
What was that awful tone?
The phone again, naturally!

To think that only yesterday,
I thought I'd have time to play.
Looking forward to some Counter Strike
And making the Iraqis pay,
I had to do a paper on
All the aquatic life in Nome.
And without a word, oh, just like a nerd,
I entered the library.
Researching all the night,
About whales and other species.
Hey, the walrus does exist!
So Field and Stream has taught me.
The lady hears dee-dee-deet,
It really was, indeed,
The phone again, naturally!

It's such a shame, everytime you turn around,
You hear the sound of cellphones ringing, it's really stinging!
What can we do? What can we do?

And looking back over the years,
When cellphones first appeared,
I remember I cried when my grandpa died
And I went to his funeral.
I was twenty-five years old.
My brother, he had no soul.
It seemed so wrong to bring his phone,
It was really disrespectful.
He should have turned it off,
Or perhaps I should have broke it!
Despite admonishment from me,
He wouldn't turn down the volume.
The preacher said to pray,
Then I heard "Happy Days",
The phone again, naturally!
The phone again, naturally!
The phone again, naturally!