The riffraff moved on from the MTV on down
To the shows that are on Disney Channel.
The shows are pure crap; they deserve a bad rap
From one who has seen too much to handle.

But one of Disney’s shows is a wart on music’s nose;
It’s called Hannah Montana; it’s empty.
A good girl gone wrong now just sings crappy songs
For her own so-called “non-stop dance party.”
This chick is the scourge of the Disney-headed purge
Of the music some say always made us.
As the teen idols go, she’s more subtle than most;
Said the good bands, “She just wants to grate us!”

When she got the deal, we all thought ‘twas not real
When she left with her family from Nashville
And later that year, we still wiped our tears;
As they say, it was straight outta Cashville.

We must blame her songs and her tattletale voice
That has glutted Radio Disney,
Which everyone knows is devoid of good shows;
May it e’er on my radio miss me.

It’s not too late to give Miley Cyrus hate;
She’s becoming far brasher and brasher.
The middle-school chicks, sadly, crave her flicks
While I’d like to send her to a slasher.

In June or July, I would just like to try
To disrupt her own tour for a reason.
I’d cruelly wreck Miley Cyrus’ own neck;
I would do so, regardless of season.

Her dad, Billy Ray, never knew quite what to say
In Montgom’ry in old Alabama.
Yet somehow, this thug caught what’s called the singing bug;
Hence the wreck that is Hannah Montana.

Nobody believes that her songs don’t cause grief
If one’s listened to Miley for hours.
The critics agree that she just ain’t for me
‘Cos she might have some cruel savage powers.

One thing is for sure: I don’t want anymore
Of consent from mothers and fathers
For her stupid gigs. If you don’t want any pigs
In your household, watch your preteen daughters.

Like Sally Ride, may their dreams abide
In the sciences, which are far higher
Than pop culture holds. It’s sure getting old
To go out and preach to the choir.

Like Curie and Mead, may they be well-read
In what’s real and what really matters.
If you hear “G.N.O.,” then your daughter doesn’t know
To get aught of one non-golden platter.

In a Catholic church in Edina I prayed
To Jehovah for His healing manna.
He gave me strength to fight off this teenage wretch
Also known as Miss Hannah Montana.

The riffraff went on from the MTV on down
To the shows that are on Disney Channel.
Walt Disney, they say, gets much worse by the day
And it’s too much for people to handle.