-> "Jerry Sandusky (The Pervert of Penn State)"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"Jerry Sandusky (The Pervert of Penn State)"
Parody Written by:
R Anthony Botti
The Lyrics
The indictment came down from a grand jury in town
He had done what men ought not be doin'
It was “for troubled youth,” he would say but, in truth
'Twas a place he could find boys for screwin'
His coaching career lasted 33 years
But he wanted some man-on-boy action
He thought with a smile “I'll call it The Second Mile”
“And a camp will provide the attraction”
He did coordinate the Defense for Penn State
With an emphasis on the linebackers
But they couldn't tell the testosterone smell
Would turn him into a fudgepacker
An old man whose joy comes from bangin' young boys
Won't be satisfied with masturbation
A dirty old man, he cooked up a plan
To accomplish a kid's violation
Entering his bedroom, they would meet with their doom
They had few clues with what they were dealing
That sound in the night as he took his delight
'Twas the sound of a little boy squealin'
And then at sunrise, that look in his eyes
They could see that he wanted more nookie
When he finished he said “tell a soul and you're dead”
“Keep quiet and you'll get a cookie”
When the next young boy came, Jerry didn't feel shame
He said “just lay down there on your belly”
Then he stepped out again and then came right back in
With the Vaseline and K-Y Jelly
Old Jerry moaned “Ooo, get a load of you”
He was naked and feeling quite lusty
Those boys sure got scared when from out of nowhere
came the penis of Jerry Sandusky
Does anyone know why those young boys would go
When old Jerry cooed “let's hit the showers?”
The gifts that he'd bring or the love songs he'd sing
Or perhaps just the candy and flowers?
They might have escaped being savagely raped
Had they brought with them guns for protection
A bullet would say in no uncertain way
“Dude, I want no part of your erection!!”
The trouble began with a glitch in his plan
He would soon be on his way to prison
They knew something was wrong, he's been in there too long
And why is a kid in there with him?
When the papers found out, there was no room for doubt
It was clear that a scandal was brewin'
A twisted old perv, getting what he deserves
His whole life will lay in ruins
While they deliberate, he sits there and waits
In a courtroom that smells old and musty
After using young boys as living sex toys
There'll be bad news for Jerry Sandusky
You'll wear a big frown when the verdict comes down
To survive you will need to be clever
Your new cellmates all itch to make you their bitch
When you get sent to prison forever
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.9 | |
How Funny: | 4.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 8 |
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