-> "John Coon, Executed For Murder"
Original Song Title:
"Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"John Coon, Executed For Murder"
The Lyrics
On a cold afternoon a young fellow, John Coon
Sits alone in the back of a wagon
A party of men, mostly neighbors and friends
Were performing their task, 'twas a sad one
As their shovels rebound from the hard, unyielding ground
They would scrape out a small excavation
A hole they'd soon fill in the name of the will
Of the court of the Wyandot Nation
Some ten years before, on this very same shore
Where the Kaw River meets the Missouri
A large vessel arrived, there on the Kansas side
With a captain and crew in a hurry
The last stage of a trip from the wide Mississip'
And beyond that, Sandusky, Ohio
As the summer winds blew, their longing grew
To head south for a New Orleans bayou
The wooden gangplank made a loud crashing sound
The passengers stood at the railing
Their panic would grow as the captain said "Go!"
"'tis as far as this vessel is sailing".
With fear in each heart, all would have to depart
There to hunker down where they had landed
The boat sailed away, some were heard to pray
On the mud flats six hundred souls stranded
This once-mighty tribe had been fraudulently stripped
Of farmland they need for survival
All the government aid they'd been promised in trade
Absent upon their arrival
As the winter winds roll and disease takes its toll
Those with money, to Westport* are ferried
Still others will be found up on much higher ground
That's where little John Coon's dad was buried
Every young lad needs the help of a dad
To stay on the path straight and narrow
Walker* would say his mom led him astray
And he put the blame squarely upon her
A long walk to church, but the Blue Goose Saloon
Was close by to sell him fire water
Then the skull of Curt Punch made a sickening crunch
'neath an iron bar, a terrible slaughter
Armstrong* would plead, the court would not heed
While the jury's in no mood for mercy
"Curtis lies dead, John Coon's blood must be shed
To serve as a warning to others"
Due process applied, appeal was denied
Then six men with muskets assembled
And though every one knew what they had come there to do
'twas not just from the cold that they trembled
With the pride of his race, John stood steady to face
The stern sentence the court had assigned him
Three thirty on the dot, a volley of shots
And his short, troubled life was behind him
The passage of years and the Corps of Engineers
Have erased every trace of this drama
The tribal chiefs say John lies buried today
Near the graves of his papa and mama
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 8 |
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