The hedgin' gets strong at Fidelity and Schwab
As a big rate raise call risk is looming
Inflation's a threat, clever kids chuck their bets
Cuz the guys they dismembered were swooning
During Covid I earned more, plenty picks wowed 'em and scored
With the Fed Funds un-feral, made plenty
That good blitz ran true from the growth of meme views
When the rates I remember stayed steady

That blitz of a ride plunged to a very bad slide
Numbing facts stunned the will at this onset
As the Fed rates did grow, ink was redder and glowed
And the news lacked good captions, wealth wizened
Delusions crushed nerds, hit by trouble with meme firms
Then regretful implosions did deepen
The traders had fright when the dips smelled rank
Could it be the shorts' wins they'd been feedin'

The whims of new hires sprayed the battle-railed crowd
As the wage hopes rose until sailing
Then many bank stewed, as the captions hit news
Led the rich into cumbersome dealin'
The pawns blamed fate and the reckless dash for rates
When the fails of closed lenders came crashin'.
With laughter soon strained and all reason drained
Men would brace for a hurried strange reck'nin'

When uttered whines blame the cold crooks shamed for wreck
Rage and yellin' won't soothe cuts you're feelin'
From heaven's deep end, a grave catch phrase was penned
It read, "Fellas, this sin could disrobe ya"
A chaplain's dire spin began, "Copper's runnin' thin,
With the good chips cars use trapped in barrels."
But later he'd write, "The Fed's hikes are bound to spike."
"Hey, to heck with the Fed Funds, get feral."

Does anyone know where beloved jobs go
As they wait on Fed Minutes for hours
Researchers all age, braids have shades whitish gray
As they look, shifting more piles neath binders
They write half-wit stuff and they drive half-track rides
They save bad note sheets and look blotto
And all the weak gains and the praises that they gave
Ruined lives more than one playing Lotto

Rates burn the soul, rude couriers zing
Bringing doom to a white-hot expansion
No stitching can heal bites from dumb rash zeal
The smilin' and praise are foreshortened
Rash ardor bestows great strong scary woe
Shakes vim of trade-weary contenders
And the "I earn" mode goes to a share-averse "almost"
With the trades that dismembered remembered

There's a lusty bold drawl so adroitly brayed
Wins the very fine traders cerebral
The urge swell climbs, will to bank many fine dimes
For each man who doubts Fed and gets feral
With hedgin' still strong at Fidelity and Schwab
Lo, the big rate raise stalls, risk is puny
Looks cheerier ahead. Clever kids trust their heads
And the trades that they enter lunge surely