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Song Parodies -> "The Deaths at the Barnum and Bailey"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Deaths at the Barnum and Bailey"

Parody Written by:

Scott L. Bain

The Lyrics

I dunno if this one is too tasteless, what with all the mass shootings that seem to endlessly plague our country. But, on the other hand, humor is usually helpful, especially with really dark problems. At least for me. Sorry if this offends anyone, of course.
Oh I butchered a clown from the sternum on down
And I hollowed him out nice and roomy
The circus it's said doesn't want their clowns dead
But this one pissed me off and so sue me
When fifty clowns more in the little clown car
Piled out onto the stage acting silly
It seemed like good fun to un-holster my gun
And then mow them all down willy-nilly

White paint on their face helps to focus the chase
'Cause the targets stand out when you're gunnin'
And the stupid red nose and huge boots on their toes
Cannot help them escape when they're runnin'
Clowns are the source of all evil of course
And you're right when you just want to end 'em
So fewer remain with each slug to the brain
For that candy cane hell where you send 'em

With the bozos dispatched, then the acrobats
With their wife-beater shirts and trapezes
Were targets so sweet it was like shootin' skeet
As I sent them all skyward to Jesus
Then the tumblers all died as I tracked side to side
Like I do when I'm first person gaming
And then later that day came the Cirque du Soleil
It was childs-play to set them all flaming

And the wild angry shouts from the roustabouts
Only made my mood turn extra sour
And the ringmaster too was reduced to a goo
That the lions were glad to devour
And that hopeless dim dope who was walking the rope
Took a tumble with no intervention
And as he hit the floor the whole crowd gave a roar
With applause too disturbing to mention

With each holler and shout with the crowd filing out
I could tell that their spirits were soaring
And each woman and man said that they were big fans
'Cause I made the whole circus less boring
Oh I butchered a clown from the sternum on down
And I hollowed him out nice and roomy
The circus it's said doesn't want their clowns dead
But this one pissed me off and so sue me
Again, if I triggered anyone I apologize.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   37
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 37
 

User Comments

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CML - November 25, 2023 - Report this comment
Actually, this is quite good. And seeing as circus clowns were removed from the Protected Humans lists about the time the first Baby Boomers were popped out, I'm guessing you're safe there. There really aren't any circus clown activists anymore
Porfle Popnecker - November 25, 2023 - Report this comment
Brilliantly written. It was a pleasure to give it all 5s.
Patrick - November 25, 2023 - Report this comment
Two old timers who still comment. Though the circuses no longer have lions, or elephants. I think they have even removed performing dogs and horses. I once attended a circus that had a prepared sign describing the skin disease afflicting one of their elephants. Easier to tote the sign from show to show than to treat the animal, I guess. In today's society, I'm starting to feel that a song like this is borderline provocative. Must be getting old. But, at least some folks are still doing TWOTEF.

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