Hollywood USA

I want ya’ll to put down that remote control and turn off your DVD
to hear a tale of a New England housewife who had a crazy suburban fantasy
One morning after the daily laundry was finished & the morning dishes were all clean
She turned on her television set and soon found herself in a movie scene
The prop department sent word to say, keep hands off Mr. Eastwood’s Magnum Force
And Mr. Wayne would like to extend an open invitation for a ride upon his horse
Well off went the bathrobe she was wearing and magically she was in an evening gown
And she found herself in Old Siam in Yul Brenner’s arm just dancing ‘round
After dusting off the shelves and rearranging the furniture in her living room
She put on a tank top and daisy dukes to dance with Patrick Swayze to a dirty tune
A candle lit bubble bath was followed by a nice warm Warren Beatty shampoo
Then she hailed a limousine to take her to Tiffany’s for breakfast with a casting crew
Once she found herself in Casa Blanca playing the piano in Rick’s American Cafe
The dialogue coach requested an hour to go over some pillow talk with Doris Day
The director says he’s sad to say you’ll have to kiss Mr. Newman just one more time
When you wrap up here Mr. Lemmon would like to have you over for a glass of wine
But after lunch the housewife never finds the time to make the family dinner or dessert
Instead she ends up all afternoon swapping body heat with a sweaty William Hurt
But first she has to return a costume to wardrobe and tell Edith Head it didn’t fit
And she needs it tomorrow for a photo shoot with Daniel Day Lewis and Brad Pitt

So, turn all your cameras on
Mr Demille, I’m ready for her close up today
And send it first class to Hollywood USA