On a November evening
With musket full of powder
I met up with a gobbler
He looked like tasty meat
So I took turns a-shooting
From the tree into the forest
Till boredom overtook it
And it began to speak

It said, "Son, I've made a life
Out of running place to places.
And knowing where bullets hit
By the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind me talking
I can see you're pretty brainless.
For the taste of a turkey
I'll show you who to snipe."

So I stood there for a while
And my mouth began to drool
Then he asked, "Ya ready yet?!"
I gawked at him with fright
And the bird got deathly quiet
"You can talk?" I questioned
It said, "If you wanna shoot a bird, dude
Ya can't stand here all night"

"You got to know when load it
Know when to code it
Know when to shoot away
And know ends of gun
You never taste your turkey
When sitting in your deer stand.
There'll be time enough for chewing
When the killing's done."

Every gobbler knows
That the secret to surviving
Is knowing where to hide away
And knowing when to leap
Cause every mans a hunter
But most of them are boozers
And the best that you can hope for
Is to not become their meat

And when he finished speaking
He brought me towards a meadow
Picked out the one to get
And said, "Go shoot that geek"

And somewhere in the forest
The gobbler he's not grieving'
Cause in his vile words
"Now 1,000 dollars I can keep"

"You got to how to pick em
Know how to trick em
They'll kill worst enemy
Or whom you owe bucks
You never alert a mobster
When a pilgrims always able
There'll be use enought for mobsters
When the big ones come"

"You got to know when load it
(Don't explode it)
Know when to code it
(Don't ya show it)
Know when to shoot away
And know ends of gun
You never taste your turkey
When sitting in your deer stand.
There'll be time enough for chewing
When the killing's done."