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Song Parodies -> "HotBecca/Heartless Texting Maid"

Original Song Title:

"Heartbreaker/Living Loving Maid"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"HotBecca/Heartless Texting Maid"

Parody Written by:

Callmelovelorn

The Lyrics

A romantic diss track by Goggleboy triggered me to do my annual self flagellation about a romantic opportunity on a dating website that slipped thru my fingers six years ago. The womans name actually is Becca, and her screen name was close to "HotBecca", but for the sake of her privacy, I wont her use actual screen name. Besides HotBecca really stands in well for Heartbreaker, doncha think?
(Cue most badass guitar intro evuh!)

Hey fellas have you heard the news
HotBecca's back on site
It wont take long, just you wait and see
She'll be treating me again like sh*te
Her pics are news, but her eyes the same
Like the ones that cast a spell
And from her lips a wicked smile
From the one that gave me hell

Well, its been six years and maybe more
Since I first clicked on her page
The best years of my life flew past
Im hurtling into senior age
Young people cry and some people die
From the internet ways of love
But I just keep on stumbling along
Into the mirages and delusions thereof

Brothers warned me once again
Bout the way she'll bring the pain
I dont care what my Brohim say
From her I just cant abstain
But just one thing about your mind
And if you can clarify please do
The way you go for my jugular vein
When I try to sweet talk ...TO YOU!!
We joked about ED .. to what use
You stuck it to me .. you twisted it

Oh, its so hard to know her mind
So heres my love lament
Abused my love a previous time
Undaunted, still I try
HotBecca, you own my soul
Cant shake your piercing gaze
You'll burn me twice you HOTBECCA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-O-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-A-AAUGH!!

HOT BECC-
HOT BECC-
HOT BECC-
HO- .......

With an auburn whorl of hair and some piercing blue eyes
(Lovely Becca ..My star dust woman)
Mrs B hold forth on senior dating site
(Lovely Becca .. my star dust woman)

Cmon Len, on the round about
Ride on the Becca go round
We both know what the game is
So get ready for the run around

Heart of stone-y, heart of stone-y making me ill
(Texting, dissing.. shes too much woman)
When the chest pains come, I knock it back with pills
(Texting, dissing .. shes too much woman)

Cmon B, stop the round about
Right on the Becca go round
We all know what the game is
So Im ready for the run around

Telling cute jokes about my mild ED
(Loving Becca, my star dust woman)
With the blue pill and the steel and the four hour spree
(Loving Becca, my star dust woman)

Foolishly hang on ever word she says
(Texting, dissing .. my hard edged woman)
And I'll keep on pining till I waste away
(Texting, dissing ... my hard edged woman)

Cmon Babe stop the round about
Right on the merry go around
We all know what the game is
So no reason for the runaround



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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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Dylan Baranski - April 26, 2021 - Report this comment
Not only is the OS one of my favorites by Led Zeppelin, but it reminds me of the crap-ass luck I've had with dating sites, so here's 555 cans of Fix-A-Heart for you.
CML - April 26, 2021 - Report this comment
Thanks Dylan, I'll keep it for future disappointments ;-D. As for the present, I do believe that epic primal screen/Cri d' Couer at the end of "Heartbreaker" has served nicely to cauterise the wound

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