WalMart Managers know what they buy turns to gold,
So they're buying the stairway to heaven
If the deal goes to plan, with no government ban
God will just be a WalMart Subsidiary
Ooh, ooh, So they're buying the stairway to heaven

When they get it i'm told, there's eternity sold
ten percent off for veterans and seniors
There's a lane to the left, for those ten sins or less
Two-for-one on the novelty grim reapers
Ooh, it will trade on Nasdaq
Ooh, can I buy my life back

There's a songbird who sings, he has ten different rings
And the batteries are even included
K-Mart, Target and Sams, think the deal should not stand
But God wants it so they are deluded
Ooh, and their stock's up seven
Ooh, make a deal for heaven

Walgreens now wants to deal with the devil for hell
To compete during the winter season
Beelzebub's holding out, Lucifer has some doubt
Maybe Satan can help them see reason

If there's a rattle in your soul now, don't be alarmed now
Walmart just installed a GPS
Cause there are two roads you can go down, and here's the low-down
Walmart wants to know which you'll select
Ohhh, yeah they want to track you

And as we wind on down the road
Here comes the stairway that's been sold
It's Ten lanes wide and made of gold
Price cuts are written up in bold
For ten bucks we'll remove your lust
This will prevent you getting bust
All our competitors are fussed
and Walmart stock now is a must

Cause they're buying the stairway to heaven