Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Ausiderata"
Original Song Title:
"Desiderata"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Les Crane
Parody Song Title:
"Ausiderata"
Parody Written by:
Stuart McArthur
The Lyrics
WARNING - read no further if you have no interest in Aussie Rules football - it will be a complete waste of your precious time :-)
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
Go placidly, amidst the boys and plays
for remember what peace there may be
in suspension
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with the umpires
Speak your truth quietly
and clearly
and listen to others
even to Mark Williams
for he too has his story
Avoid Jason Akermanis
He is a vexation to the spirit
If you compare yourself with James Hird
you may become troubled or bitter
for always he will be a greater, better person...
...than yourself
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
And whether or not it is clear to you
Mike's TOPfiftyplayers
are unfolding
as they should
Enjoy one-percenters
as much as speccies and torps
and keep interested in your own stats
however humble, they are a real possession as you approach end-of-season trading
Exercise caution in researching opponents
for Kevin Sheedy is full of trickery
But let this not blind you to what a genius he is
Many persons strive to be wily strategists
and everywhere life is full of Peter Rhodeses
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign intelligence
Neither be honest or original to the media
for in the face of all their bullying cynicism
a cliché is as perennial as the grass
Take kindly late night calls from Caro Wilson
and deny visiting taverns
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from unkind position moves...
....but do not distress yourself with imaginings
Many fears take the form of playing in front of Barry Hall
Except for the end of season trip...
.....be gentle with yourself.
YOUare a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
YOU have a contract to be here
And whether or not it is clear to you
Mike's TOPfiftyplayers
are unfolding
as they should
Therefore
be at peace with Mike Sheahan
whatever you conceive Him to be
And whatever your labors and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of football
buy an inner suburban pub
With all its sham.......drudgery and broken dreams
it is still a beautiful place to hang your old team photos
Strive for a media career
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
(fade)
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
Go placidly, amidst the boys and plays
for remember what peace there may be
in suspension
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with the umpires
Speak your truth quietly
and clearly
and listen to others
even to Mark Williams
for he too has his story
Avoid Jason Akermanis
He is a vexation to the spirit
If you compare yourself with James Hird
you may become troubled or bitter
for always he will be a greater, better person...
...than yourself
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
And whether or not it is clear to you
Mike's TOPfiftyplayers
are unfolding
as they should
Enjoy one-percenters
as much as speccies and torps
and keep interested in your own stats
however humble, they are a real possession as you approach end-of-season trading
Exercise caution in researching opponents
for Kevin Sheedy is full of trickery
But let this not blind you to what a genius he is
Many persons strive to be wily strategists
and everywhere life is full of Peter Rhodeses
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign intelligence
Neither be honest or original to the media
for in the face of all their bullying cynicism
a cliché is as perennial as the grass
Take kindly late night calls from Caro Wilson
and deny visiting taverns
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from unkind position moves...
....but do not distress yourself with imaginings
Many fears take the form of playing in front of Barry Hall
Except for the end of season trip...
.....be gentle with yourself.
YOUare a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
YOU have a contract to be here
And whether or not it is clear to you
Mike's TOPfiftyplayers
are unfolding
as they should
Therefore
be at peace with Mike Sheahan
whatever you conceive Him to be
And whatever your labors and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of football
buy an inner suburban pub
With all its sham.......drudgery and broken dreams
it is still a beautiful place to hang your old team photos
Strive for a media career
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
You are a child of the A.F.L.
no less than the media stars
You have a contract to be here
(fade)
www.afl.com.au
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 9 | 6 | 7 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Don't know anything about the subject, so I won't vote, but the title is hilarious.
One of those things I watch on ESPN58 at 2 in the morning...specifically because I don't know all the rules and it's entertaining.
This is freakin' hilarious! "Therefore be at peace with Mike Sheahan whatever you conceive Him to be" ... LOL ! 555!
If you know how seriously Aussie Rules footballers take themselves, the joke works, otherwise not, but thanks for the read John and Jeff
Johnny - if you knew how seriously Mike Sheahan, our leading football writer takes himself, the joke works, but it did with you anyway, so thanks
Johnny - if you knew how seriously Mike Sheahan, our leading football writer takes himself, the joke works, but it did with you anyway, so thanks
Desiderata, why don't you come to your senses... At first, I thought "Mike Sheahan" was "Mike Shanahan," coach of the Denver Broncos. Of course, there are plenty of American sportswriters who take themselves that seriously. (Are you listening, Reverend Bill Plaschke of the L.A. Times?)
I salute you, master of the Aussie Rules parody! 555...ps if you can get the words "Robert Dipierdomenico" into a parody, I'll send you a tenner.
DKTOS. Don't know what AFL is. I'll just toddle off to the traitor cell.
Hmmm, Queensland right? - your team, the Brisbane Lions - won 3 of the last 4 AFL premierships - best team ever to play the game - still no? - I know Queensland's a Rugby state, but puh-lease.....
What a topic to write a parody on! Nothing will ever beat "Deteriorata" from the National Lampoon ("You are a fluke of the universe/You have no right to be here...Go placidly, amid the noise and haste..." :)
That's right Agri. We were talking about "Deteriorata" on the TOTTM thread and I mentioned I'd once written a version of Desiderata about our national (Australian) football game for one of our newspapers, and I said I'd dig it out and post it
NSW actually, the maroon face paint is actually a birth defect.
What? No mention of Daniel Bradshaw? ~sniff~ :-P
Well done Stuart! I was hoping to see a mention of Lou Richards in there! Great work!
* ahem - strokes chin - thinks *
yes, Merry, I guess you're right - those 3 goals Bradshaw kicked against Port in the GF almost turned the game for Brisbane - especially the first one, from outside fifty and off his non-preferred - or was that the second one?..........Merry?? :-)
thanks FussBudget, and I have actually written one that mentions Lou Richards - see
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/kevinjohnson0.shtml
and thanks Merry and FussBudget for the 5s!
yes, Merry, I guess you're right - those 3 goals Bradshaw kicked against Port in the GF almost turned the game for Brisbane - especially the first one, from outside fifty and off his non-preferred - or was that the second one?..........Merry?? :-)
thanks FussBudget, and I have actually written one that mentions Lou Richards - see
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/kevinjohnson0.shtml
and thanks Merry and FussBudget for the 5s!
Heck, I don't know - I just think he's kind of cute - sort of looks a little bit like a good friend of mine... ;-)
you're so full of surprises Merry - so, as well as being pretty up on Aussie music, you also know about Aussie Rules! :-O
Obscure subject (to me), but look at all the comments. 15 years later responses to parodies are becoming few and far between. I envy you.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/lescrane1.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 2395
