She laughed whenever she saw him
Carried away on a London night bus
He stood there drunken and yawning
Carried away on a London night bus
Lost in Catford that Saturday night
Somewhere on the Bromley side
He had taken on two men in a drunken fight
And she accidentally kicked him in the balls too

They had been out for a heavy evening
Carried away by a London night bus
They were completely paralytic and heaving
Carried away by a London night bus
They had a chicken kebab somewhere in Kilburn
The chilli sauce disagreed with the beer inside
They had puked six times before reaching Willesden
And one had pissed his pants too

I say, no way
Seeing you in Brixton far away
I say, no way
Seeing you in Brixton far away

Four a.m. in the morning
Carried away on a London night bus
I watched your big mouth yawning
Carried away by a London night bus
The N91 looked shiny in the rainy night
The N87 passed on the other side
Will I get to Enfield Town tonight?
But she found she lost her Oyster Card too

I wait, I pray
Because I'm still in Ealing far away
I wait, I pray
Just need to get to Ilford today

Caught in Hendon feeling still alive
She had missed the N20 but there was still the N5
But it was raining and she was soaked through