They all sat, bored, in the zoo
Hanging with the Rhesus monkeys
Making do with old bananas
'til the zookeeper's key fell
In the hands of a primate
Open the gate, sneaking out there
Had enough humiliation
Ninety-nine mad baboons, bye-bye

Ninety-nine mad baboons
Tasting freedom, pleased as pie
Panic bells, it's red alert
PETA's proud, but no one else
Baboons disperse, live their lives
Blend in, look like hairy guys
Work, marry, families try
As ninety-nine mad baboons get by

Ninety-nine mad baboons
Feel their voices must be heard
Form a party, run for congress
Get on ballots, get lots of press
This is what they've waited for
Voters like 'em, ask for more
Put the Prez inside a cage
See ninety-nine baboons on the front page

What a strange dream I have had
I'm obsessed with mad baboons
I wake up. The campaign's done
No baboons but red has won
In the dust there sat John Kerry
And I shed a little tear
I feel like a mad baboon
Waking nightmare continues, on we go