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Song Parodies -> "Papi Ortiz"
Original Song Title:
"Please, Mister, Please"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Olivia Newton-John
Parody Song Title:
"Papi Ortiz"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
After the Great Comeback of 2004, I wrote, "Please, Mister, Please (Don't Say '1918')." You know, I knew the Curse of the Bambino couldn't really be beaten. To beat something supernatural, the Red Sox needed something artificial. (Note that on the original version, I goofed and put this 1974 song in the Sixties: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/olivianewtonjohn0.shtml)
(instrumental opening)
In the corner of the bar there sits a Sox fan.
Makes the best of revelations that are new.
He's gone to their games since they just cost a quarter.
And for most of his life, they would not come through.
He's got Samuel Adams beer upon the counter.
And two rings that now provide him lots of pain.
'Cause some butt in-pushin' "Cowboy Up" guy cheated.
And now, here he is, just wallowing again!
Papi Ortiz!
It's still "1918!"
It's still chanted, 'cause you're tainted, it's not over!
Papi Ortiz!
If you know what I mean
All us Yankee Fans can chant that year again!
If I had a dime for every time I wondered
how the Yanks could blow a series up by three
I could swear I'd be the richest guy in Bloomfield
maybe even in the State of New Jersey.
But I guess the Curse will really last forever.
'Cause they won by sticking needles in behind.
Never once Sox said, "I'm sorry" for their cheating.
And it really takes a big load off my mind!
Papi Ortiz!
It's still "1918!"
It's still chanted, 'cause you're tainted, it's not over!
Papi Ortiz!
If you know what I mean
All us Yankee Fans can chant that year again!
(instrumental close)
In the corner of the bar there sits a Sox fan.
Makes the best of revelations that are new.
He's gone to their games since they just cost a quarter.
And for most of his life, they would not come through.
He's got Samuel Adams beer upon the counter.
And two rings that now provide him lots of pain.
'Cause some butt in-pushin' "Cowboy Up" guy cheated.
And now, here he is, just wallowing again!
Papi Ortiz!
It's still "1918!"
It's still chanted, 'cause you're tainted, it's not over!
Papi Ortiz!
If you know what I mean
All us Yankee Fans can chant that year again!
If I had a dime for every time I wondered
how the Yanks could blow a series up by three
I could swear I'd be the richest guy in Bloomfield
maybe even in the State of New Jersey.
But I guess the Curse will really last forever.
'Cause they won by sticking needles in behind.
Never once Sox said, "I'm sorry" for their cheating.
And it really takes a big load off my mind!
Papi Ortiz!
It's still "1918!"
It's still chanted, 'cause you're tainted, it's not over!
Papi Ortiz!
If you know what I mean
All us Yankee Fans can chant that year again!
(instrumental close)
Yes, I know, the Yankees had their own cheaters. But when you match up the dates, you'll see they were far less instrumental in our rings than in Boston's. I like New England, I like its food, I like its museums, I especially like its politicians -- but it's sports teams? First the Belichick revelations, then Jim Calhoun at UConn, now this... So when do we find out about the Celtics?
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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He acted stupidly. ;)
At least you have no need for humor-enhancing substances. Great as usual. ;D
I'm not cheat, I won it fair and square!
Fives for the cult of idiocracy!!!!
I'm a Sox fan, but I love this.
'Roidtastic!
as heartbreaking as the OS
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