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Song Parodies -> "You're De Vun Dat I Vahnt"
Original Song Title:
"You're The One That I Want"
Original Performer:
Olivia Newton-John / John Travolta
Parody Song Title:
"You're De Vun Dat I Vahnt"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh took pills
They're pumpifying
Und inflating mah pole
Und de power
They're supplying --- it's erectifying!
[ Maria: ]
You better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause I need a man
With a German Shepherd bone
You better pump-up (up up up)
You better pump your gland
Clean-and-jerk, bench-press-and-moan!
[ Maria: ]
You're the one that I want! (You are the one I want!)
Oh oh oh, Arnie!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You're de vun dat I vahnt! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, liebchen!
[ Maria and Ahhnold: ]
You're the one that I want! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, honey!
[ Ahhnold: ]
De vun ahh neeeeeeeeeeeed !!
[ Maria: ]
Oh yes indeeeeeeeeeeeeed !!
[ Maria: ]
If your pills,
Gave erection,
You're too shy to display
Bed awaits
In my direction
Feel your way
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause you need a man
[ Maria: ]
'Cause I need a man
Who can toss me way up high!
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
If ahh'm gonna throw
[ Maria: ]
You better throw
Big-Tooth-Shriver in the sky!
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh you shuuure?
[ Maria: ]
Yes, now toss me way up high!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
Ahh'll strain and wheeze --- almost cahn't breathe ---
[ Maria: ]
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Now throw me, please --- throw me now, please!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
Ma-ri-a, pleeeeeease --- ahh just cahn't BREATHE !!
[ Maria: ]
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Come on and throw me, man! (Come on and throw me man!)
Now, now, NOW ARNIE!
DON'T BE A TEASE --- THROW ME NOW, PLEASE!!!!!!
[ Ahhnold: }
URRRGGGHHH !!!
[ Maria: ]
AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE !!!
[ Plate Glass Window: ]
KEEEERRRRAAAASSSSHHHH !!!
Ahh took pills
They're pumpifying
Und inflating mah pole
Und de power
They're supplying --- it's erectifying!
[ Maria: ]
You better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause I need a man
With a German Shepherd bone
You better pump-up (up up up)
You better pump your gland
Clean-and-jerk, bench-press-and-moan!
[ Maria: ]
You're the one that I want! (You are the one I want!)
Oh oh oh, Arnie!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You're de vun dat I vahnt! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, liebchen!
[ Maria and Ahhnold: ]
You're the one that I want! (You are de vun I vahnt!)
Oh oh oh, honey!
[ Ahhnold: ]
De vun ahh neeeeeeeeeeeed !!
[ Maria: ]
Oh yes indeeeeeeeeeeeeed !!
[ Maria: ]
If your pills,
Gave erection,
You're too shy to display
Bed awaits
In my direction
Feel your way
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
'Cause you need a man
[ Maria: ]
'Cause I need a man
Who can toss me way up high!
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh better pump-up (up up up)
If ahh'm gonna throw
[ Maria: ]
You better throw
Big-Tooth-Shriver in the sky!
[ Ahhnold: ]
Ahh you shuuure?
[ Maria: ]
Yes, now toss me way up high!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
You got heavier--*grunt* (You are so heavy--*grunt*)
Urgh, urgh, urgh, liebchen!
Ahh'll strain and wheeze --- almost cahn't breathe ---
[ Maria: ]
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Now throw me, please --- throw me now, please!
[ Ahhnold: ]
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
You got heavier--*GRUNT*! (You are TOO heavy--*GRUNT*!)
Urgh, urgh, URGH, LIEBCHEN!
Ma-ri-a, pleeeeeease --- ahh just cahn't BREATHE !!
[ Maria: ]
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Don't be a girly man! (No, not a girly man!)
No, no, no, Arnie!
Come on and throw me, man! (Come on and throw me man!)
Now, now, NOW ARNIE!
DON'T BE A TEASE --- THROW ME NOW, PLEASE!!!!!!
[ Ahhnold: }
URRRGGGHHH !!!
[ Maria: ]
AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE !!!
[ Plate Glass Window: ]
KEEEERRRRAAAASSSSHHHH !!!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 23 | 24 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
the "liebchen" line brought it all to a head. very funny. Is there an entire Grease Porn musical in the works? You cleaned and jerked 555 lbs!
Oh, Johnny... I'm speechless. But I must say that the "You got heavier--*grunt*" line is a classic :-)
i love the cadence of witty repartee...5s
this wouldn't be one of them lewd submissions would it? - *checks to see if Chucky is crestfallen* - nuh, guess not - I reckon you started with "erectifying" JD - if not, it's a GREAT get!! - 555
I thought this parody was going to be wholesome and clean, like ONJ. Glad I was wrong! 555
555 to the ubermaster of Ahnold parodies...bravo!
As der parodies go, Schwarzenegger dan most.
Wunderbar! Let me fünf you up. As Maria says: "Ich liebe dick!"
LMFAO!! Great stuff, Johnny. Send it to the Governator!! High 5's
Good job. 5's. I liked dis one. In fact I like all parodies that deal with tings of dis nature.
Yar Ahnold speak is wery gud!!
Arnoldie but a gut parody!
Das ist wunderbar. That's all I can really say in German ... ^_^ 5's
Thanks, john, Phil, alvin, Stuart, Rick C, Kristof, Michael, JB, Dee, Lionel, Red Ant, Luke, and Jack.
Well, now I feel totally silly that I almost didn't submit my little "slut" parody because it was a PG-13. This was a riot! Loved the grunting.
Thanks, Claude.
(Y '06) This parody PUMPED (CLAP!!) ME UP.
absolutley marvellous.triple from me!
(ABC Y 06) Herr Johnny D, you did dis very vell! Oh, ja!
(ABC-Y) See above!
If anyone can mock Ahnold it's you... Little Puny Man...
(ABC05) A pleasure to revisit! "Big-Tooth-Shriver" cracked me up.
(Y) ah, yes I remember this one - one of your best openings ever, JD
(ABC) Very funny, Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh'll give it 5's
Dot woss hilarious! LMAO!!!! This might be my ABC favorite, but I still have a few more to read. 555
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