Big licker, This critter's tongue's slicker, Face shimmers
Your dinner's his dinner, Ditch digger has chiggers

My pet Marmaduke mocks my rolled magazines
Heard his loud "RUFF!" hunting beasts
I yelled... "Hell no! Fido!"
As he destroys my chateau, Ohhhh noooo...

Itchy from fleas, Brain's bananas
Dizzy kitties filled with fear
Broke my brand new sofa, Jaws gnaw
Heel mangy Marmaduke!

Drooly pooch's spit sprays from his maw, Paws claw
Snoopy brute will chase down that frog

We should get him declawed because he's such a nut
That boy stank after the big skunk fight
My hand's caught in his leash when he chased down that Jeep

Gassy Lassie's my dilemma
Goofy Scooby drank my beer
Vocal when he barks at grandma
Heel mangy Marmaduke!

Droopy's rude my chair's turned to straws, Chainsawed
Loopy loon has some major flaws

Dang! Daaaang! Daaaaaaaang!!!!

Watching him grin when he steals my food
My burger went straight down his face
Steaks have vanished from my sight
Keeps me up all night: Snores, Snoooores, Snoooooores!!!

Buries his bones in my yard outside
Holes are insane it's my strife
And when he's muddy he leaps
Till we're both unclean, Torn, Tooooorn, Toooooooornnn!!!!

Shifty sheltie chomps kielbasa
Porky corgi makes me sneer
Bow-wow's mind is gaga, Guffawed
Heel mangy Marmaduuuuuuuuuuke!!!

Wooly goof's a pain in my rump, Dumb pup
Screwy wolf drinks out of my cup
Fluffy douche's unchained from the wall, He'll maul
Heel mangy Marmaduuuuuuuuuke!!!

Might look cute but he'll break the law, Drama!
Postman scoots away he'll be jawed
Brand name boots he'll taste and my clogs, That hog!
Drags me on my face when we jog
Nasty, Roots through waste that I tossed, I'm crossed!
Watched him strew that sludge on my lawn
When shampooed he shakes and I'm globbed, That slob!
Mutt's cuckoo, Nerves fray from this slop

Collie's folly caused me trauma
Dorky yorkie bites his rear
Still you gotta love this whackjob
Dummy puppy that's quite clear