Remember when you were hired
Next day you were fired
Whine on you lazy doorman

Now there's a bulge in your pants
Like that tower in France
Whine on you lazy doorman

You were caught in the bathroom
With somebody's daughter
Handing her T.P.

Come on, you sicko
The guests are afraid of
Come on, you weirdo that bad dreams are made of
And whine

You went on vacation too soon
It wasn't till June
Whine on you lazy doorman

Scratching venereal pests
And exposed to the guests
Whine on you lazy doorman

Well, you wore women's panties
You found in the laundry
Doing a strip tease

Come on, you laggard
You reader of skin mags
Come on, you braggart, you sleazer, you windbag
And whine

Nobody wants you around
You booze-sodden clown
Whine on you lazy doorman

Everyone waits at the door
As you're passed out on the floor
Whine on you lazy doorman

Now you're down a back alley
With yesterday's hooker
Blown without false teeth

Come on, you mother
You goofy carouser
Come on, you brother of Woofy and Bowser
And whine