Even in royal life
there must be tragedy
caught in her boudoir
and my mother is so angry
I close my eyes, she wears a disguise you see
sex is so good, but she is so uggerlee
oh yes it's easy come,easy go
I get high,she goes low
anyway the truth is
royalty don't matter to me
to me


mother....don't give a damn
one gave up all one had
married Diana,now she's dead
mother don't be mad at one
but now one's going to throw it all away
mother oooooh
didn't mean to make you cry
one is going to marry Camilla tomorrow
carry on carry on
being king now doesn't matter

too late, one's time has come
put on the royal smile
as ones walking down the aisle
goodbye Will and Harry
ones got to go
got to go to balmoral for honeymoon

mother ooh ooh ooh
I did not love Di
sometimes wish one had never been royal at all


(harpsicord solo)


one has been seeing camilla on the side
Kensington, kensington,is very clandestine,
Camilla is exciting, but also very frightening Eeeeeh
there's no corgis,(there's no corgis)
there's no corgis,(there's no corgis)
there's no corgis,in this place, oh tally ho, o, o, o, o.


i'm such a rich boy, thats why she love me
(he's just a rich boy, from a rich family, spare him the crown for this monstrosity).


(dum,dee,dum,dee,dum,dee,dum)


easy come,easy go, will you let it go?
Camilla! nooooo, we will not let it go,
let it go
Camilla!, we will not let it go,
let it go
Camilla!, we will not let it go,
never never never let it go,o,o,o,o,
no,no,no,no,no,no,no,
oh mother dear,mother,mother dear let it go
this family has definatly got it in for me,for me,for meeeee


(westminster cathedral organ solo)


so you think one spent all this time playing polo
never thought my taste in women could be so low
oh mother, take a look at my brother
at least i didn't date,
at least i didn't date, fergie


(more of that f***ing hammond organ)


(oh yeah, oh yeah)


(HRH the Queen)


Charles it doesn't matter
we all here can see
to show no hard feelings
we will even call her the Queeeeeen

(dum,dee,dum,dee,dum,dee,dum)
(even though she's ugleeeeeeeee)
(gong)