I'm on a toadstool
I'm in a Rockery
Caught in a landslide
No escape from that mad kitty.

Open your eyes,
I'm not Big Mac and Fries you see..
I'm just a small Gnome
Made of earthenware pottery
Because I'm 1 foot tall
(Awful small)
Black of boot, White of beard
Anyway the wind blows
Doesn't really matter
To meeeee
To Me.

Laura, I could be your Gnome,
In your garden I would sit
With fishing road and look a tit.
Laura, you need to dig a pond
For me to sit beside and watch the fish all day
Laura. Ooo-oo-oo-ooo
I'm a little guy
If you've not dug a pond by this time tomorrow
Then I might, I just might
Think that I don't really matter.

Too late, the autumn's come
Sends a shiver down my spine
Paintworks soaking all the time.
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go-
Got to hide out in the shed until the Spring.
Lauraaaaaa Ooo-oo-oo-ooo
I don't want to fry
So put me somewhere shady in the summer.

I see a little silhouetto of a mouse
In the shed, In the shed, it crept under the shed door
Gnashing teeth and squeaking, very very frightening me
Little mousey
Little mousey
Little mousey here's some cheese!

He's just a small mouse, he doesn't like cheese
He's just a small mouse, lactose intolerant
Find him a chip or some crisp celery
"Thank you there, Mr. Gnome"
"No problem! Mouse! it's time for you to go"
Let him go
"No problem! It's time for you to go"
Let him go
"No problem! It's time for you to go"
"Let me go"
"Time for you to go"
"Let me go"
"Time for you to go"
"Let me go"
Go,go,go,go,go,go,go
"Little mousey, Little mousey, Little mousey will you go
You scared me once and I think that it is time you fleed, you fleed, you FLEEEED



So you think that I'm a lovely little stone guy
So you think that you'll love me and keep me dry
Oh Laura, put me in the back garden Laura
Just got to put me out
Just got to put me right in the shade-ah

Gardens really matter,
Anyone can see,
Gardens really matter,
Gardens really matter to meeeee..