Mama, just kicked a man.
There's a screw loose in my head,
Because I tried to break his leg,

Fergie, the seasons just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away!

Forlan! Ooh -ooh - ooh,
Makes me want to sigh!
We'd score more goals with Sid James or Kenneth Williams,
Carry On, Camping,
The whole teams just in tatters.

Too late, my crime is done,
Tried to mangle Alfie's spine,
Now he's aching all the time,

Goodbye Mick McCarthy, I've got to go,
Got to leave the squad behind, 'cos I'm a t**t!

Veron! Ooh -ooh - ooh
He doesn't seem to try,
I sometimes wish he'd never been bought at all.

(guitar solo)

(Opera Section)
I see a little packaged sandwich filled with prawns,

Laurent Blanc! Laurent Blanc!
He's just slow old and useless!

Brown & Neville fighting, very very frightening indeed!!!

Where is Rio?,
Where is Rio?,

Where is Rio?,
Where is Rio?,

Because Laurents far too slow! He's far too
slow-ow-ow-ow-ow.....

I'm just a head-case, nobody loves me

He's just a headcase, walked out on his country!

Spare us the whines from his gaffer if you please!

Here it comes, Open goal - Forlan must score.

He will not!

No! He's simply got to score!

He will not, never, ever score!

No! He's simply got to score!

He will not, never, ever score!

Never, ever score, never, ever score, never, ever
score.........

no no no no no no no!

Oh where is Rio? where is Rio ?

Has he really stubbed his toe ?

Beelzebub take the Nevilles from my side, Oh Please ?

Oh Please, Oh Pleeeeeeeaaaase?

(Guitar riff)

So you think that I punch refs and spit in their eyes?
Would I kick Alan Shearer and leave him to die?
Oh baby, Even though I seem crazy,
I'm Roy the Red, rich, thick and madder each year.

(Slow bit)

All the guys I've clattered.....even poor Alfie!
Now I've got a Court case...........I just want to kick folk,
you see ?
Tell me where did Mick go ?