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Song Parodies -> "We Are the Haitians"

Original Song Title:

"We Are the Champions"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"We Are the Haitians"

Parody Written by:

Dan Lotto

The Lyrics

A ridiculous parody is the best response to a ridiculous rumor
I've walked my dogs
Time after time
I've fed my cats
But committed no crime

Bad recipes
I've cooked a few
I've had my share of burnt roasts in the oven
But I've come through
(I can go on, and on, and on, and on)

We are the Haitians, my friend
Yes, Fluffy and Fido meet their end
We are the Haitians, we are the Haitians,
No time for chicken,
Yes, pets are so finger……….lickin’ good

I’ve heard the bow-wows
And the meows
I have been eating the chickens and pork
And, certainly, cows

We came here in peace,
Our numbers increase
Walking past parks and golf courses
I see we can cook and eat geese.
(I can go on, and on, and on, and on)

We are the Haitians, my friend
Yes, Fluffy and Fido meet their end
We are the Haitians, we are the Haitians,
No time for chicken,
Yes, pets are so finger……….lickin’ good

We are the Haitians, my friend
Yes, Fluffy and Fido meet their end
We are the Haitians, we are the Haitians,
No time for chicken,
Those pets finger lickin’

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 109

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 5   109
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Horrified Haitian - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Thanks for at least stating that it's a ridiculous rumor.
Cat's Outta The Bag - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Well... it's not really ridiculous:

https://jennasside.rocks/p/the-cats-out-of-the-bag

Of course, as this blogger points out, the part about people's pets being consumed is hardly even the worst part of Springfield's plight.
Libby - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
It doesn't matter whether or not it's true at this point. What is true is that Vance and Trump are trying to use these scare tactics (also ceerfully ignoring the fact that the Haitians in OH are not illegals and are contributing to the community) to build up news and social media chatter denounce Harris' handling of immigration policy (which was actually not her ideas, let along her purview) when they have zero intelligent policy plans on their end. The subsequent threats to innocent persons and bomb threats should be unanimously denounced by all, and the city of Springfield should seriously consider legal action against the Trump campaign for inciting dangerous consequences.
Arch Vile - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
@Libby, I wonder if you share that same sentiment about the Venezulean gangs in Aurora Colorado. You know if they "are not illegals" and "contributing to the community".
Spank that Donnie Douchebag! - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Libby's right and we all know it. Treasontrump and VD Vance are stirring up lies and hatred and that always leads to violence. What makes things so bad is that there are enough clods who actually believe all that nonsense because they have no sense. 30 years ago this past week the US invaded Haiti, and there was a guerilla war that wasn't covered much. While the media focused on the voodoo that some people there do; you'd better believe that if Haitians had a custom of eating cats + dogs then the OJ Simpson obsessed media would've gladly highlighted that too. Well, they didn't. It isn't true. But Americans forget because are vulnerable and DUMB. Ignorance Is Bliss.
Execute that Traitortwat KommieLiar! - September 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Libby's a liar and we all know it. KommieLiar and Tampon Tim are telling lies and stirring up hatred to inspire assassination attempts on President Trump and his patriotic followers. What makes things so bad is that there are enough clods (like Crooks and Routh) who actually believe anything they hear from those far-left propaganda outlets because they are incapable of critical thought. A lot of cultures in Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean eat animals we consider to be pets, including the Haitians. The far-left media vermin have tried and tried to cover up the truth, but in fact, the Haitians themselves have stated that they eat cats as a gourmet delicacy (https://www.haitianreport.com/2019/03/does-haitian-eat-cats.html). But the left are completely out of touch with reality and believe whatever their Whoreass-rimming media propagandists tell them. Thinking is too painful.
Dan Lotto - September 25, 2024 - Report this comment
Thanks for your feedback
Hey ETTK, disguised as MAGA - September 25, 2024 - Report this comment
Not one thing I said was a lie, and nowhere have i averred that any culture has not or do not eat domesticated animals. And BTW Arch, Colorado was a flat-out lie. (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/09/12/aurora-colorado-venezuelan-gang-stories-debunked/75190566007/)

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