i went to the office party
to raise a glass with so called friends
past ten, i have few memories
cause i got drunk again

when i got to the office party
big badge bore my name
no one recognized me
i wondered why i came

so i...got right plowed
lurchin', blitzed as hell
you see, i...outdrank everyone
so...i can't behave myself

people came and milled around
everyone just stared
no one broke the silence
there was boredom in the air

over in the corner
much to my surprise
some ol' coot, who was high on booze
grabbed his file clerk's thighs

so i...got right plowed
lurchin', blitzed as hell
you see, i...outdrank everyone
so...i can't behave myself

daisy flashed her gold thong
naughty sort of dame
norman danced to music
but he was pretty lame

i had a go with mary lou
till she swung at me
then she made a crack about a nasty drunk
i was asked to leave

so i...got right plowed
lurchin', blitzed as hell
you see, i...outdrank everyone
so...i can't behave myself

an orgy, in the closet roared
someone's gettin' it good
crazy and hard...she's a-shriekin' like hell
just like we knew she would

if you go to an office party
i wish you a lotta luck
i have memories of flyin' things
i ran and had to duck

so i...got right plowed
lurchin', blitzed as hell
you see, i...outdrank everyone
so...i can't behave myself