You’re fugly, Weight is three hundred pounds
Can’t get love’s embrace, More fleas than a hound

And dating looks grim since leg hair needs trimmed
I guess it’s my job to make you Heart-Thro-ah-ah-ob

You’d better listen, and learn
To get the message that you know that you yea-ea-ea-earn
Playboy Bunny you'll turn

You’ll get a hunk man
Yeah, honey
Maybe a drunk man

We’ll work on fitness
And fashion
(Or make him down kegs)

Try to make you look slender
“Please burn” clothes beg

Hide that nose wart
And maybe get you a tan

In just seven days
I can find you…
A Man!!!

Buy you sports bras at the spas
Build a catch, Make men work
Cause right now darling, even Igor would smirk

Some ingenious thinking might just lend a hand

Cause in just seven days
More… maybe
I MIGHT find you…
A Man!!!

(Reprise)

Ahhh!!!
Soon the cute boys and the hot men
Will make noise (Work construction)

Make hearts…
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Break!

Names go from “What a fat*ss” to “Hot da-a-a-amn!”

In just seven days
Oh, baby!
I will find you…
A Man!!!

You can’t get prostitution
So I’m your solution

Guys do you in vans

In just seven days
I can find you…
A Man!!!

Date her!
Now you can!

In just seven days…
I can find you…
A Man!!!