"I'm Commissioner Outlaw"

Sung to "Rock 'n' Roll Outlaw" - Rose Tattoo

(Sounds of pillaging and rampant looting)...

Used to hate law enforcement but now I'm Commissioner!
My city is up in flames... bad PR I'm sure!
All I need is authority and a new place to play
Ignore the critics 'cause they're in the way!

I'm Commissioner Outlaw, and didn't have to run!
I'm Commissioner Outlaw, Civil Service is much fun!

I need a Big Screen TV and an iPhone One Five!!
I believe those are necessary for me to fully thrive!
All I need is a shopping cart and a new place to loot!
Oh shit, it's the police... please don't shoot!

I'm Commissioner Outlaw, and I have a gun!
I'm Commissioner Outlaw, this job no longer is.. any fun!

Playin' politics is all I know...
Philly is a bust... gotta go!!

All we want from livin' are things we can't afford!
All we need is to get a job, to make room and board!
Then we can save for things we want (Yes, we'll really pay!)
It's the adult way, the adult way!

She's Commissioner Outlaw, the law of blue!
She's Commissioner Outlaw, the ruler over you!

I'm Commissioner Outlaw, and where's my gun?
I'm Commissioner Outlaw, I don't need anyone

I'm Commissioner Outlaw, a force for right!
I'm Commissioner Outlaw, last one out hit the lights...