i. punditry
And critique shall replace cogent verse
ii Republican Guard
We’ve trained for almost fifteen years
Since George Bush 1 had kicked our rears
We’re ready to protect our motherland
We’ll stand together arm in arm
To keep our country safe from harm
Even through it’s mostly made of sand
We’re the Elite Iraqi ‘Publican Guard
Our thick mustaches make us all look cool
We’re the Elite Iraqi ‘Publican Guard
We all march in step, and fight for Arab rule
Look at all our MiGs and tanks
Our Scud missiles will snuff your ranks
Yes, we hold ourselves in high esteem
We hope one day to bid farewell
And lob a nuke on Israel
Kiss our ass, you Zionist regime!
We’re the Elite Iraqi ‘Publican Guard
Our floppy black hats make us all look tough
We’re the Elite Iraqi ‘Publican Guard
Don’t you piss us off, ‘cause we don’t take no guff
iii. devilry
{Hans Blix}
Where are all the WMDs?
We keep looking, but can’t find a thing
We’ve found tubes and barrels and big rail cars
And lots of deserted buildings
{CIA}
Bush wants to defend his actions
But all we found were piles of junk
Guess we’ll lie about the intel
And just tell him ... that it’s a ... slam dunk
{George Bush}
I can’t wait to send in the Air Force
I’m itching to kick off this fight
But the U.N. keeps debating
We have to convince them we’re right
iv. presentation
{Colon Powell}
I know it’s most unusual
To speak here on the floor
But we’ve found the WMDs
It’s time to go to war
Look at these Sat photos
And see what he has built
We can’t wait for a smoking gun
It’s time that he was killed
{France and Germany}
Yes we know about Saddam
He’s quite a nasty guy
But there’s no need to quick invade
Sanctions keep him in line
Another fight won’t be polite
Iran can be their foil
Forget about his evil past
Besides we need the oil
{Tariq Aziz}
Don’t you believe what he says
These things just aren’t so
We used to have those weapons
We destroyed them long ago
{Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf a.k.a Baghdad Bob}Don’t invade our country
You will die at our walls
All your base will belong to us
‘cause we will behead you all!
{UN General Assembly}
We won’t debate further
The resolution passed
Hussein is now just average
He’s been corralled at last
We know you’d like to launch a strike
And for a fight you spoil
But please drop your quest for war
We really need the oil!
v. congress: the dream
We pondered long into the night
To give the president the right
To start the coalition’s war
Then this old man took the floor
{Robert Byrd, D-West Virginia}
I stand behind this podium
To your blood lust do not succumb
The Constitution states it clear
It’s Congress’ job to declare war
Don’t shirk responsibility
By giving Bush authority
To send our soldiers off to die
I urge you now, don’t let this fly
{Awkward silence, then Congress continues}
We’ve talked about it long enough
It’s easier to pass it off
If things go wrong with the assault
Then we’ll pretend it’s not our fault
Sign the bill, it’s time to go
Off to war!
vi. shock and awe
The flames are still in the air
The rubble still in the road
I send Allah a silent prayer
And ask I don’t explode
I hoped it would not come to this
But war was on the wind
I look around my neighborhood
And I see my friends are dead
I don’t think I can hold it back
Hold back this burning in my head
Oh no!
My sorrow is high as I reach for a gun
My anger, spills over…
vii. mission accomplished?
Attention all soldiers of the Iraq Republic
Attention all soldiers of the Iraq Republic
Attention all soldiers of the Iraq Republic
We have assumed control
We have presumed control
Things are out of control